Sunday, June 29, 2008
Cry
I posted that blog below and happened to look at the time the blog was posted and it said 11:11am. Maybe I'm just a blubbering idiot with too many whacked up hormones but I just started bawling. I think what's missing in my life right now is God. I truly feel that. I need to find Him again. I cannot do this on my own anymore.
11:11
It is such a comfort sometimes to be reminded, at least what I take it for, that someone is watching over me. For the past year or so, when I look at the clock, it's usually 11:11. Sometimes it bares no meaning and other times when I'm having a rough time, I'll look at the clock and see 11:11 and for some strange reason, things dont look as bad as they did a minute ago.
How do you know when you need to see someone? As in, talk to a counselor about life, about problems etc? I really think I need to. I just about had a panic/anxiety attack today with the way things have been going lately with friends. I hate this. I hate talking about it, I hate trying to figure things out and make everyone happy. I hate feeling like this whole issue only matters to me, when I know that is silly. I hate feeling like I'm the only one whose stomach is a mess when talking about it, or that I feel literally sick. That I'm the only one who cries like a baby about it or over thinks things about it. It is affecting my life, my moods, my thoughts and that is wrong. I am so sick of trying to please everyone and make everyone happy with my decisions. I am sick of not speaking up for myself. I never do that. I wouldnt know how to start. I dont know what to do anymore. And that is my own fault. For never speaking up for myself before. I hope I can figure something out because it cannot go on.
How do you know when you need to see someone? As in, talk to a counselor about life, about problems etc? I really think I need to. I just about had a panic/anxiety attack today with the way things have been going lately with friends. I hate this. I hate talking about it, I hate trying to figure things out and make everyone happy. I hate feeling like this whole issue only matters to me, when I know that is silly. I hate feeling like I'm the only one whose stomach is a mess when talking about it, or that I feel literally sick. That I'm the only one who cries like a baby about it or over thinks things about it. It is affecting my life, my moods, my thoughts and that is wrong. I am so sick of trying to please everyone and make everyone happy with my decisions. I am sick of not speaking up for myself. I never do that. I wouldnt know how to start. I dont know what to do anymore. And that is my own fault. For never speaking up for myself before. I hope I can figure something out because it cannot go on.
Sad
It is just sad when people have to comment/pick on other people's disabilities. It makes me want to cry.
Just to elaborate a bit... one of the nurses at work has a stuttering type problem. She sometimes gets a tick as well and when she speaks, you already kind of know what she's going to say but it's polite to wait until she finishes saying it. You wouldnt interrupt someone normally if they were speaking [s]and if you would, you're rude[/s]. Anyway, our unit needed an extra nurse for night shift last night because we were shorthanded. This particular nurse, who happened to be in charge, called over to L&D to ask if one of their night nurses would be able to help us out since L&D was not busy. They said they'd get back to us.
Fast forward a bit. I was secretary so like usual, around 10pm, I went over to L&D to get the names out of the log book of who gave birth today for the birth certificate book. I overhear one of the nurses, who I assume was in charge and is [s]a real bitch who thinks her shit does not stink[/s] pleasant say 'I feel bad but I already know what she's going to say so I want to be like 'Ok thanks bye click and not wait for her to get it out'. I knew exactly who they were talking about (the nurse on my floor who had just called to ask for one of their nurses) and it sickened me. Are you for real? What the hell is wrong with people? Do you really think she enjoys having to struggle to get what she wants to say, out? For God's sake, think before you speak. Would you say that to her face? 'Well gosh you just take so long to get things out because of your issue that I dont have time to hear it'? I think not and if she would, she's a bigger bitch than I thought. That really just broke my heart because the nurse on our floor is the sweetest woman I think I've ever met. Sometimes I really wish I had the guts to say something to people, especially some of the [s]bitches[/s] nice nurses on L&D who think they are hot shit. Wow. You stick your hand up vaginas all day, you're sooo special. @@ I dont get the 'we're so much better than everyone else' attitude from that unit but it makes me not want to work in L&D.
Just to elaborate a bit... one of the nurses at work has a stuttering type problem. She sometimes gets a tick as well and when she speaks, you already kind of know what she's going to say but it's polite to wait until she finishes saying it. You wouldnt interrupt someone normally if they were speaking [s]and if you would, you're rude[/s]. Anyway, our unit needed an extra nurse for night shift last night because we were shorthanded. This particular nurse, who happened to be in charge, called over to L&D to ask if one of their night nurses would be able to help us out since L&D was not busy. They said they'd get back to us.
Fast forward a bit. I was secretary so like usual, around 10pm, I went over to L&D to get the names out of the log book of who gave birth today for the birth certificate book. I overhear one of the nurses, who I assume was in charge and is [s]a real bitch who thinks her shit does not stink[/s] pleasant say 'I feel bad but I already know what she's going to say so I want to be like 'Ok thanks bye click and not wait for her to get it out'. I knew exactly who they were talking about (the nurse on my floor who had just called to ask for one of their nurses) and it sickened me. Are you for real? What the hell is wrong with people? Do you really think she enjoys having to struggle to get what she wants to say, out? For God's sake, think before you speak. Would you say that to her face? 'Well gosh you just take so long to get things out because of your issue that I dont have time to hear it'? I think not and if she would, she's a bigger bitch than I thought. That really just broke my heart because the nurse on our floor is the sweetest woman I think I've ever met. Sometimes I really wish I had the guts to say something to people, especially some of the [s]bitches[/s] nice nurses on L&D who think they are hot shit. Wow. You stick your hand up vaginas all day, you're sooo special. @@ I dont get the 'we're so much better than everyone else' attitude from that unit but it makes me not want to work in L&D.
Friday, June 27, 2008
A note to the fast food industry
1. If you're going to to include tax in something that is $.99, why not make it cost $.89 so that tax is $.10 and your customer only has to give you a dollar. Do the employees enjoy making change for $1.08? Because majority of the people ordering are going to give you two- one dollar bills and not one dollar, a nickel and three pennies. And if they do, consider yourself lucky. Does it really make that big of a difference to reduce the cost of artificial meat/flavoring/fake chicken THAT much and put your company in the hole because instead of it costing $1.08, it's just a $1? If it does, I think you've got bigger problems. And making $.99 in big letters and then 'plus tax' in fine print does NOT help matters. Most of the time, we all assume it's going to cost us well over $.99. Nothing in life if $.99 anymore. Stop trying to trick us.
2. If your company does not have any locations near where it advertises on TV, STOP ADVERTISING it and making those of us who wish they had it, salivating over the TV. You know who you areSonic. And I refuse to drive 45 minutes for Sonic's Happy Hour (3-5pm) to get 1/2 priced drinks. By the time I got home, I could have drank 5 of them.
3. No matter what Wendy's says, it is STILL fast food. It is still greasy hamburger patties (freshly made, frozen, round or square) high fructose corn syrup containing, aspartame- heaving, salt, fat, yummy goodness of food. Just because you can order from many choices of sides besides fries does not make it healthier. You'd probably be better off eating the darn fries than the salad. Who knows A) how long the salad's been sitting there and B) what has fallen into it and the fact that you'll never know because whatever HAD fallen into it, is now doused in 100% fat full dressing. Yes, it's waaaaaaay better than fast food. Not.
2. If your company does not have any locations near where it advertises on TV, STOP ADVERTISING it and making those of us who wish they had it, salivating over the TV. You know who you are
3. No matter what Wendy's says, it is STILL fast food. It is still greasy hamburger patties (freshly made, frozen, round or square) high fructose corn syrup containing, aspartame- heaving, salt, fat, yummy goodness of food. Just because you can order from many choices of sides besides fries does not make it healthier. You'd probably be better off eating the darn fries than the salad. Who knows A) how long the salad's been sitting there and B) what has fallen into it and the fact that you'll never know because whatever HAD fallen into it, is now doused in 100% fat full dressing. Yes, it's waaaaaaay better than fast food. Not.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Meeting
We had this meeting at work yesterday for the techs. It was a pretty good turn out... 15 PCT's from mainly day and pm shift. I think we should have PCT meetings monthly just to make sure everything is on the same page, because it is hard when you work on different shifts, you dont really talk to each other much.
Anyway, we talked about the unit and how it really is a great unit especially with the teamwork, everyone really puts forth an effort to help others out, regardless of whose patient it is. I have to say, I admire that in where we work because the other floors in the hospital do not do this. Having floated to Ortho/Neuro and observing and actually working with the people there, it is obvious how little they help each other out. It is almost like 'every man for himself'... your call light is ringing and you're busy? Too bad! It really is unfortunate.
Then I, of course, jokingly bring up the fact that one of my 3 wishes for the unit is to 'never float again'. If you've never worked on a Med/Surg floor and all you're used to is changing baby diapers and helping women, it is a rude awakening when you have to see a penis staring at you in the face (and it's not a nice one either *shiver*) and you have to change the poop that has become smeared all over it. Not fun. After I brought it up, more people agreed that this is definitely an issue so I am hoping that we can all come up with some suggestions and solutions for it so that we can either A) stop floating altogether or B) have a choice to float or stay home. I am not a float pool PCT. I work in Mother/Baby so don't treat me like I can go to any floor. Comparing us to other floors is like comparing apples to oranges. 100% completely different. At our next meeting, we're supposed to work more on the teamwork aspect instead of the floating aspect (because our boss has to talk with the nursing director on floating issues) but there will be some talk from me about that because the sooner we bring suggestions and opinions to the table for her to lay out to the nursing director, the sooner we can get the ball rolling on coming up with a solution, dont you think? I spoke a LOT at the meeting and that is soooo not me. I usually sit back and nod my head LOL Not this time. And I am glad. There's a lot that needs to be talked about.
Anyway, we talked about the unit and how it really is a great unit especially with the teamwork, everyone really puts forth an effort to help others out, regardless of whose patient it is. I have to say, I admire that in where we work because the other floors in the hospital do not do this. Having floated to Ortho/Neuro and observing and actually working with the people there, it is obvious how little they help each other out. It is almost like 'every man for himself'... your call light is ringing and you're busy? Too bad! It really is unfortunate.
Then I, of course, jokingly bring up the fact that one of my 3 wishes for the unit is to 'never float again'. If you've never worked on a Med/Surg floor and all you're used to is changing baby diapers and helping women, it is a rude awakening when you have to see a penis staring at you in the face (and it's not a nice one either *shiver*) and you have to change the poop that has become smeared all over it. Not fun. After I brought it up, more people agreed that this is definitely an issue so I am hoping that we can all come up with some suggestions and solutions for it so that we can either A) stop floating altogether or B) have a choice to float or stay home. I am not a float pool PCT. I work in Mother/Baby so don't treat me like I can go to any floor. Comparing us to other floors is like comparing apples to oranges. 100% completely different. At our next meeting, we're supposed to work more on the teamwork aspect instead of the floating aspect (because our boss has to talk with the nursing director on floating issues) but there will be some talk from me about that because the sooner we bring suggestions and opinions to the table for her to lay out to the nursing director, the sooner we can get the ball rolling on coming up with a solution, dont you think? I spoke a LOT at the meeting and that is soooo not me. I usually sit back and nod my head LOL Not this time. And I am glad. There's a lot that needs to be talked about.
Procrastination
*Ahem* Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary defines 'procrastination' as "to put off intentionally and habitually" so that is exactly what I am doing with packing. LOL (And I am well aware that starting out any story/blog/thing with 'Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines....' is not cool). Not because I am not looking forward to going to Myrtle Beach, I actually cannot wait, but Lord knows that if I pack now, I will need something that I've packed, have to go into my suitcase and unpack it and then I'll forget to repack it... it's a process. How sad am I? I also don't want this weekend to come because that means A) it'll be over and B) I really have no more major trips planned. I have traveled every 2 months since the beginning of this year. Now I am pretty much done with an exception of possibly going to Springfield in August and possibly going to Baton Rouge, LA in October to find my southern roots , live the southern life , freak out looking at crawfish experience the South. It's just sad to me that I'm not going anywhere for a bit. I was hoping to go to Washington to visit my friend Sara, but for almost $500, that just ain't happenin' unfortunately. I've always wanted to see the West and of course to see Sara again. Anyone want me to come and visit? LOL
Tomorrow is my packing day (only because I leave Thursday lmao) so I'll have to do last minute laundry and figure out what the heck I'm bringing. I'm hoping I have everything I need otherwise I'll have to venture out which means I'll have to look presentable and go out in public. Ugh. ;-) I leave around noon on Thursday! I cant wait!
Tomorrow is my packing day (only because I leave Thursday lmao) so I'll have to do last minute laundry and figure out what the heck I'm bringing. I'm hoping I have everything I need otherwise I'll have to venture out which means I'll have to look presentable and go out in public. Ugh. ;-) I leave around noon on Thursday! I cant wait!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Target
remind me kindly about my previous adventure) to get a book I want to bring with me on my trip this weekend to Myrtle Beach, SC (WOOHOO). They had every other book by this particular author except, of course, the one I was looking for. Then the shampoo I use regularly was not on the shelf. They must have seen me coming and, for my own good, took everything away that I would normally come and purchase. Target is so nice, watching out for my credit card limit. :-) LOL
So I decided I'd go to a SUPER Target today (Yes, I know... I was very excited too). Do you think they had it there? No BUT they did have the shampoo!! So at least it wasn't a complete waste of a trip. I even went to the library to find the book and all of their copies are either out or on hold so I'll get to read the book by the year 2009. Awesome. I should have just bit the bullet and gone to Barnes and Noble to get it. Oh well. I still have time. ;-)
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