Cloud Nine

So the highlight of my week has definitely been the birth of my good friend's baby. You would have thought I had a baby I was and still am so excited for her. I know I work with babies all of the time but it's so different when it's someone you know. It worked out perfectly that she delivered an hour before I got to the hospital to work for the day... and then they usually keep the babies with mom for an hour so it was 3:20 by the time she was brought up to the nursery which was perfection! I got to bathe her which was awesome. She's been texting me ever since she's come home, about things. It kind of makes me feel good because it's a good feeling to know someone trusts you to ask all of these questions. 

She wanted to bathe the baby yesterday but was a little scared to do it so she asked if I'd come over and help... of course I was over the moon excited to do so. I went over for a few hours but since her boyfriend had to go into work, we decided to wait so that he could be there. So instead I just held her for a while and stared at her cute little face. There is something that emanates from babies that must make them so addictive because I want one. Right now! The fussiness is nothing to me because I usually deal with 10 babies crying at once. Having one baby to hold and care for yesterday seemed so strange! LOL I was on cloud 9. 

Isn't it amazing the power PMS has over us?

You know that quote from Evan Almighty?  "If one prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If one prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"  

This runs through my head all of the time because I ask for patience to deal with people all of the time. Except I'd rather just be handed the patience instead of being given the opportunities because, at times, I feel like I'm just put in a giant pit of opportunities and I fail miserably. I have such a short fuse and don't really like the person I'm becoming.... I just don't know where it's all coming from. Am I just growing up and taking less crap? Probably not because I still let people roll a red carpet over the top of me and do their runway walk. To so many people I feel like I'm 10 yrs old and am this stupid little girl and I don't know why. Kind of like when people brush off their shoulder.... I feel like I'm that fuzz that was brushed off. WHY?! I am not this damaged person who has had a terrible life. I come from this wonderful family, had a picture perfect childhood and yet I'm still not happy. What the heck does it take? I'm sick of stupid people. I'm sick of selfish people. I'm sick of being so kind to people and not getting it in return. Most of all, I'm sick of letting everything bug me. I'm sick of complaining!

Remember when....

....my ticker above used to say 2 years? Just noticed it now says this....!!!!

Bitchin'. :)

Alaska is looking better and better....

And that's at 12pm....

Small outbursts

Yesterday at work most of my patients were Spanish speaking only. Normally I do not have an issue with this because believe it or not, they're pretty great with their babies and need minimal assistance. One of the patients was ready to go home so I saw the father of the baby get a head start to get the car. I grabbed the wheelchair and loaded everyone up and walked to the usual entrance of the hospital that we discharge patients. We waited roughly 15 minutes for this man to pick up his family and nothin'. So I ask the 10 yr old boy if he speaks English (usually the kids do) and he does. I ask if his dad has a cell phone that we can call to see where he's at. The boy says the father has no cell phone. Awesome! We wait a few more minutes and I ask the boy if his dad could possibly be at the ER entrance? The boy says 'yeah probably' so we hightail it over there (it sounds like it's no feat except when you have a diaper bag over your shoulder, pushing a mother and her child and a 10 yr old with a big ol' bag of supplies, it makes us look like we're majorly lost and would like to hitchhike the next available car that pulls up). We get to the ER entrance and no one is there. I wait about 10 more minutes and then call the nurse that had this patient and ask if she had heard anything the father may have said. She says 'how bizarre, no she hadn't heard anything'. One of the other nurses said she'd run down to the other entrance (the one we were just at) to see if the dad was there... and he was. So back we go to the first entrance that we were at. Ay yi yi. It was a freaken mess. 30 minutes of confusion. I respect that you speak a different language.. I get that. But can you please learn to speak English if you live in this country and take advantage of our government system? My favorite was when I got back to the floor and started my 8pm rounds, one of my patients (who yes, just spoke Spanish) said 'thank you lady' when I gave her fresh water. :-|

Meanwhile, I have been bitter lately about a lot of things and a friend of mine posted this on her FB so I wanted to post it here to remember it. I think it's great <3

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

My hope is to start living more like that rather than dwell on things that make me bitter. 

A long 6 days.

Monday morning we had a really bad storm around 730am. Almost 100mph wind gusts took down a tree in our neighbor's yard, falling onto power lines causing the telephone pole in the our backyard to crack in half. We have power lines coming from our house to that pole and the force of the pole cracking caused our house to shake and nails to puncture inside of my sister's walls. Naturally because this was something bigger than just "losing power", we knew it would take some time for the power company to get their supplies together to fix this pole. We did not think it would take 6 days. 

Numerous people in our neighborhood that were affected called ComEd and every time they said they couldn't give us a time as to when we'd be restored. Two evenings they would tell us to leave our cars on the street so that they could come at 5am and begin working... that never happened. Once my mom called and spoke to a man who was completely rude and condescending to her. It's not that we miss TV or wireless or that we need 5 lights on to see. Lanterns, iPhone lights and flashlights did that for us when we needed to go somewhere... it was the concept that NO ONE cared and that not one person could tell us anything about our situation.

27 homes in my neighborhood were without power, as they're on the same power grid as we are. People got their generators out to hook them to the fridge to they wouldn't lose food. We hooked ours up to our fridge in the kitchen and the freezer we have in the basement full of food as well as a fan to keep the hot air moving in our house. The first night was so humid, I could barely breathe when I came home from work. The other nights weren't too terrible as it got down to about 70 at night. We did crossword puzzles, played cards and did a 5000 piece puzzle. I worked a lot which helped because there's AC there ;-) 

Thank goodness for the Main Lite Electric company from Warren, Ohio who saved the day yesterday. <3 They had no idea why ComEd hadn't told them about us so that when they had come into town on Monday, we could be their first stop. Essentially, ComEd had forgotten about us. So these guys from Ohio got started and worked 16 hours. We filled up a cooler with water and Gatorade. A neighbor behind us brought over Drumstick ice cream for them. It was just a small token of our appreciation to them when our own power company can't do a damn thing. In fact, two ComEd workers had walked past them at one point and they mentioned to the Ohio guys "Man, it's hot out here!" and the Ohio guys said "It's hot out here for who? Did you talk to the 27 homes here who have been without power for 6 days? I'll bet it's hot for them. But before you talk to them, I'd cover up the part of your vest that says 'ComEd' because I'm sure they want to rip you to shreds'. Amen to that. 

10pm last night the power came back on and you could hear cheers in the neighborhood, the power company honked their horns from their trucks. It was awesome. We're so incredibly grateful to them. They ended up going to a neighbor's for burgers and beer as a celebration. And we're all back in the AC just in time for a crazy heat wave. 

The BEST

Our lifelines for the past 6 days

I know some of my friends must have blocked me or think I am incredibly annoying and at first I felt bad that I kept complaining. But if people do think I am annoying for complaining about this then screw them. I listen to people all of the time complain about things that are important to them, I am there for people all of the time offering support. It gets tiring when those same people aren't there on the flip side.

It's been awhile...

Kind of sad how I don't have much to write when I'm not in school. I feel a little displaced and tonight, unfortunately, I'm in a bitter mood (which doesn't really improve from my last post). I am just blah... nothing to complain about because my life, compared to others, isn't bad at all. It's just little things.... sometimes though when you have friends going through tough times that actually matter, your problems don't really seem so bad.  I just wish more people would take time out of their day to think of others... I am sooo over selfishness. Whatever.

I've been working a ton lately, trying to save up money so I can pay for my last semester of school. Thrilled about that but at this point, let's just get this done. I feel myself getting more bitter as time drags on. Unfortunately I haven't done much this summer. I look back at last summer and this summer has disappointed me. :-( I feel like I'm bolted down while in school so I really wanted to get out of town for a while but that isn't happening. :-\ And so my realistic side says 'Amanda, be happy you had such a great summer last year... you can't have it every year' and I know. But this is my little space on the interweb and I can cry if I want to. ;-) I've still thought about doing a small trip somewhere, even if it's by myself, but I end up dismissing it (partly because of my obsession with Criminal Minds and the fact that I'd probably end up missing after stopping for gas at a stranded gas station... I can just feel it). It's probably better this way as I need to save up for Vegas in January (if that even happens). Ugh, I'm so pessimistic lately. I'm just sick of being let down or disappointed so my defense mechanism kicks in to prevent that from even happening. 

We did go to Sturgeon Bay, WI two weeks ago for a few days for a family reunion. That was nice to see family on my dad's side. I think everyone had fun. 

 

I don't like feeling this way but I just want to do things... I want so many things and it feels like I'll never get them. :-\ I'm not patient but seriously, come on. And now that I've made myself tear up, I'm out.