My anxiety level lately has been pretty high. I am not entirely sure what is causing it but I hate it. It's unreasonable, for example my parents were out of town this past weekend. I had this gut wrenching thought that something would happen to them on the way home. Nothing did thank goodness but that's ridiculous! I've never been one to think like that. UGH.
The next two weeks or so are so chaotic it's keeping my anxiety levels on the rise. I work two 12 hour shifts tomorrow and Friday, three 8 hour shifts in a row Saturday through Monday, another 12 hour shift on Tuesday and we leave for Door County, WI on Wednesday. Not to mention a dentist appointment I made for Monday before work and a poster project I need to complete before Wednesday because when I come home from Door County on Saturday, I work 12 hours Sunday, 8 hours on Monday and 12 on Tuesday. The poster is due Wednesday. When will I work on it? I may have to bring it to Door County and work on it in the hotel.
What's funny about this whole thing is my instructor stopped by the unit yesterday during my 12 hour shift and when we were talking, she asked if it was nice having a little more time in my life. I literally laughed. I think I had more time when I had tests to study for and material to read. Now? I spend my time back and forth between two hospitals, hoping I am at the correct one on the correct day wearing the correct scrubs. So far, so good. I just wish I had more energy at the end of the day... I'm barely able to keep my eyes open on the drive home after 12 hours so I know that on Friday when I go to write my 6 page weekly journal, my face is going to fall flat on my keyboard. Now my parents want to take me out for a birthday lunch on Saturday (which is super nice and I appreciate it so much because I won't have any time for a usual birthday dinner since I'm gone all of the effing time) but I may ask to reschedule that because I could work on my poster on Saturday. We're going to Door County to have Thanksgiving with my grandma as her cancer news is not good. :( We'll be there until Saturday, Sunday I work 12 hours, Monday is 8 hours, Tuesday is 12 and Wednesday the 30th my poster is due so from 1-4pm, I'll be at school trying to put on a happy face while in reality, I'll be yearning for my bed to sleep in. Then I work 8's for the next three days after that. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And saying 'you're almost there!'? Not so comforting. I know that. I cross off every single day on my calendar as the days go by. Believe me.
And also... the real reason I'm doing all of this. The official photo. :)
