Crazy weekend

I can't believe I'm writing about last weekend and THIS weekend is two days away. That is unreal.

Anyway, Friday I went out with friends from high school to dinner and to see Second City in the next town. They do a traveling holiday show and that're HILARIOUS. A lot of Saturday Night Live stars start there, like Tina Fey. Anyway, that was fun (minus the horrible dining experience).

Saturday night we met up with my cousins in from NC at Lou Malnati's for dinner (along with some of their friends). It was ok until I started feeling crappy and we left around 9pm.

Sunday was our annual trip to the city. I wasn't sure my cousins were going to be coming but they made it. I'll say one thing though... next year it BETTER be on  Friday because going down on a Sunday was absolutely ridiculous. We got to Marshall Fields Macy's at 1045am and we did not sit down to eat in The Walnut Room until 2:30pm. We picked out our ornament beforehand and needless to say, we were all starving! My cousins stayed near us this year rather than in the city so we took the train back at 4:30pm and came back to our house, ordered Chinese, played board games and then when we got stir crazy, went to the mall at 10pm. I dropped them off back at their hotel around 1130pm and then my brother and I met up with them for lunch the next day before they were supposed to head back to NC (my sister was up the night before puking.. ugh!) My cousins ended up staying another night (due to the snow that was supposed to come in... and boy it did) so I hung out with them for a bit at their hotel and then had to go home to get ready for my nursing school get together. I just wanted to sit down for 10 minutes and catch my breath!

Anyway, it was a fun weekend and I do look forward to the chaos that IS our annual Chicago Christmas trip. ;-) I joked and said next year, it's just going to be the cousins going, not the parents. They always get so stressed out!

 

What does that say?

That would be an A in the nursing program. AN A!!!!!! I am BESIDE myself. A's are unheard of. I am so happy <3

Praise the Lord.

I am DONE (for now). I passed my Med Surg final with an 86%... ended up needing a 74 to pass so I DID it! The last few weeks have been such a blur.... had my last clinical last Thursday and ended up with an A in clinical. My instructor made me cry, I was so over the top happy. AN A IN CLINICAL?! C'MON! I am elated... over the moon. She said my critical thinking skills and my calmness in stressful situations are wonderful and that I should rethink OB.... Wow. I am still on cloud nine. *Bliss* Today was my physical assessment final head to toe and got a 96% on that which is an A in the class. I cannot believe I got 2 A's this semester. SERIOUSLY!!!! Now, I'm free and people will know who I am again. LOL I haven't even gotten Christmas cards to send out yet.... I must finish my Christmas shopping plus I work tomorrow, Wed and Thurs... see Second City's Holiday in the Heights with my girls on Friday night, Saturday my cousins from NC will be here and we'll meet for dinner and Sunday we go to the city for our annual thing. Monday is the nursing school Christmas party and pretty sure the rest of that week will be spent with me freaking out that I am SO NOT DONE with Christmas shopping and Christmas is so close! Oh well... the best Christmas presents of all have been given to me already; passing my first year of nursing school. One year to go!! :)

Ay yi yi!

This has been yet another crazy week. I spent all weekend studying for my crazy Med Surg final we had on Monday. It was intense and all I have to say is thank GOD I didn't have to work because all I did was study all the livelong weekend. I'm surprised I could still read the text in my book from all of the circling, highlighting and margin writing I did. I was at a comfortable 80% in the class as of last week but due to some issues that I will not rehash again and again (because I've been doing that already lol), 10 points will be deducted from my grade... so that brought me down a bit plus the last online quiz I got a 3/5. The worst grade I've gotten on one of those and it's when I need every single point I can get. :-\ Ticks me off!! I studied my butt off... hid in the basement to study while I listened to Christmas music coming from upstairs from my family who was putting up the Christmas tree. :-\ Kind of a sad 'poor me' moment but it'll be worth it, right? RIGHT? LOL

We had roughly 750 disease processes for GI to study for plus since the final was cumulative, we had respiratory, endocrine and cardiac on there as well. :-| Crazyness.

One disease. 

Anyway, I need an 84/100 on the final to pass the class... to some that is reachable. To me, a horrible test taker, that seems like a very far goal. But what's done is done and I can only hope and pray I achieved it. It was strange... I had a very bizarre calm about me after it was finished. We have to wait almost 2 weeks for the grade, which may drive me a bit insane but I haven't been obsessing (yet). Many friends were praying for me which I know helped. :) I could not do this without their support as well as my family. I know I've said that numerous times but it just proves how much I truly mean that. Some provide a comfy shoulder to vent on, some provide a smack of reality and some provide both :-P

Today we had our HESI exam which is basically a standard exam for nursing to determine where we're at. Let's just say I'm glad it's not an exit exam. :-| Tomorrow is (hopefully) my last Med Surg I clinical then practice for my final head to toe physical exam, Friday is diabetic simulation followed by work. Saturday we have a family Christmas party, Sunday more practice and work, Monday is my final physical assessment exam at 1pm. Then HOPEFULLY IM DONE and will OFFICIALLY be 3rd semester. :-D PLEASE GOD!

A proud moment.

Yesterday was pretty busy at work. I had been off for a few days now that I'm back to my normal weekend :-D Anyway, I was admitting nursery tech but we didn't have anyone about to deliver so I helped out on the floor with patients. It was pretty busy but around 7pm, I finally got the chance to eat something. Not 5 minutes into my dinner break, the secretary (who's pretty new) came into the breakroom and said the nursery nurse was looking for me because an OB was there ready to do 2 circumcisions and apparently no one else could help.

I covered my food and went into the nursery and one of my favorite OB's was doing the circ. I quickly opened the trays, got everything ready and the doctor said "Amanda, you are so awesome, how much schooling do you have left?" I said "About a year..." She said "Are you planning on working here?" I said "I hope so!" and she replied with "You'd be so awesome. If you need any recommendations, you let me know". <3 I was taken aback. What a sweet thing to say! She kept on about how great I was and how glad she is to see me when she gets here. What a way to make my night! Totally made up for interrupting my salad. ;-)

Then when we had an new baby admitted to the nursery, I was giving the baby a bath and the dad was seriously all up in the baby's space. I had asked him to move a bit so I could rinse the soap off of the baby. If you've ever seen a baby being bathed in the hospital, it's like an art form and a juggling act all at once. While I was washing the baby's hair, the dad said to me "You are really good at this". As bizarre as he was (for other reasons), I wanted to give him a big hug for that. It is the little things people say... I tell ya!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I'm grateful for everyone in my life... my nursing family, my friends who make my life better every day and for my family who if they weren't my family, I'm pretty sure they'd leave me out on the curb with how ridiculously insane I've been with school. I could not ask for better people in my life.

And the verdict is....

I passed! I passed! I passed!! I cannot even explain the emotions I've been going through this past week. What a rollercoaster. I passed IV calculations, 100% on my dosage and an 80% on my cardiac exam. This is WONDERFUL news. I am so freaken happy. I worked my ass off and it paid off. One step closer to Christmas break. :) YES. YES YES!!!!!!

Going into the storm.

Trying suuuper hard to go into this week with a positive attitude. I'm looking forward to things AFTER this week, like the end of the semester, Thanksgiving, going out with friends and general merriment of Christmas :) If I survive this week... ;-)

Monday: Cardiac Exam 8am then Endocrine lecture until noon

               Panera Bread 12:30pm with Angel and Julie to go over IV calculations (being done off campus so we don't have 500 people telling us their ways of calculating. 

Tuesday: 8-10am practice IV skills in lab

              10am-12pm IV calculation remediation 

              12p-5p- IV skills practice

              5-8pm Physical Assessment class

Wednesday: 8am Practice IV skills in lab

                   Work

Thursday: Clinical 4:30am-2:30pm

                Start Clinical Eval

                Julie's house to practice IV skills together off campus without a bajillion people

                Oh yeah, and it's my birthday...

Friday: 8a-1p IV skills test (*scream*) and IV calculation exam retake

           After 1pm get together with physical assessment group to put together group  project (due next Tuesday) on female genital mutilation. 

Saturday: Spend all day praising God if I passed both IV calc and IV skills. 

Prayers would be graciously accepted this week. :-)

The day has been crazy. I feel like that's what it's been like lately all of the time and when I come to type it all out on here, I just don't have the energy to do it. We had a pneumonia simulation today and an IV calculation exam in which we must pass with 100%. We'll be getting our grades tomorrow but I already know I'll be retaking the test next week. Sucks big time. My IV skills is next week which I am freaking out about... plus my second med surg test is on Monday. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hope this next week flies by. Please.

How many more weeks?

Two tests down... Med Surg and Physical Assessment. Now we wait for results. I don't think I did as well on the Phys Assessment test as I did the first time around. We'll see. I went to the lab to practice today then stayed to study with some friends. Tomorrow I wasn't planning on going to the lab but I don't feel we practiced enough today so I'll try to get there early and then go to work at 3pm. :-\ Thus begins my crazy schedule of work tomorrow night, clinical Thursday morning until 2pm and then straight to work again after clinical then back to clinical Friday morning until 2pm. My friend is celebrating her 29th birthday and invited me but I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to go. Friday after clinical I'm going to have to do my clinical eval, online quiz for med surg and case study which are all due by Sunday night. Plus I work all weekend. I feel like I want to get off the ferris wheel but it won't stop. Day by day, week by week.

Panic/Anxiety Attack

Not fun. Not fun at all. I keep having these mini panic attacks. I just sat and bawled in my room about not being able to plug in my alarm clock... was it really about not being able to plug in my alarm clock? No. Tomorrow is my first clinical for Med Surg and I just am so nervous about it. It's at a hospital 20-30 minutes away from me and we need to be there by 0645 which means I have to leave my house about 10 minutes to 6am. I have three alarms set so I'm sure I'll wake up (though I'm sure I won't sleep much at all tonight... I usually wake up every hour when I have clinicals the next morning for fear of oversleeping). I must be up and in the shower by 4:30am. Then I get to do it all over again Friday morning and THEN go to work at 3pm. I don't know what to expect from this clinical instructor, I haven't passed meds yet (because at the other hospital, they used a new system and the instructors weren't trained in it yet) and our main focus is IV's. :-\ It just downright scares the shit out of me. We JUST learned about IV's last week and as much as I've practiced, I am in no way shape or form ready to do much of anything on my own. 

Not to mention the clinical eval we'll have to do by Monday, I have a quiz and case study to do by Sunday for Med Surg and a test to study for for Med Surg and then the second exam for Physical Assessment on Tuesday night. We have a pneumonia simulation on Wednesday and then clinical Friday. Bring work and getting time to practice in the lab into the picture and you have one stressed out Amanda. Beyond stressed. PLUS I told myself I'd run in a 5K Saturday... 0830 in the morning.

7 more weeks...

First week of Medical Surgical nursing is behind me and stress and crazy pacing back and forth is in front of me. I have never been so incredibly busy than I had been this past week and it's not about to get better. Thursday was lab from 0800-1pm and part of our lab component is to practice a minimum of 2 hours. I had to work Thursday afternoon so I stayed for an hour after lab until about 2:15pm. We got no break during lab because each lab session ran overtime.. I ran home, literally threw off my uniform, threw on anything I could find, ran out the door, stopped at Starbucks for the biggest tea ever and a hummus protein plate; my first meal of the day. I had to pee all day and finally got the chance at 7pm that night. Talk about a day. We learned how to prime a primary IV line, prime a secondary line and do IV Piggybacks and IV Push medications... how to flush IV's, how to insert NG tubes and a full cardiac assessment. I am super full to the brim with information at this point.. plus try to understand IV calculations, study for Med Surg, study for Physical Assessment and I tell you what, I'm gonna be living in that nursing lab. :-\ 7 more weeks... 7 more weeks. At this point, I don't even know if I'll be running in the 5K I'm supposed to run in next weekend. I am beyond exhausted when I get home I have not one drop of energy left. Whatever... I don't even know if Jane wants to do it anymore either. Pray for me.. lol

To say 'overwhelmed' is an understatement.

So our first med surg lecture was today and it went well. I like the professor so far... she seems nice and has my same sense of humor so hopefully we'll get along just smashingly.

I had my meeting with my clinical instructor for Psych which did not turn out as well as I had hoped. :( Strive for excellence, right? Wrong. Strive to pass? Correct. 

I also wrote out my calendar for the next 8 weeks in my planner. Yowza is all I have to say. I feel like I'm literally going to have absolutely no life. Between lab from 0800-1300 on Thursdays and Fridays to clinical on some Thursdays and Fridays from 7a-1400pm plus work at 3pm plus lecture Monday's from 0800-11:50am to Physical Assessment on Tuesdays from 5-1940pm then simulations, skills testing etc. Not to mention the reading for the class, which is a bajillion pages per class, the online quizzes and the case studies that have to be completed every week. Obviously there's the clinical evaluation due each week as well which takes me hours because we must answer 500 repetitive questions, learning IV drop rate calculations and getting 100% on that exam when the time comes. Physical Assessment and that test which is coming up in 2 weeks (same week as a med surg test) and then preparing for simulations as well as the physical assessment final. Who has the time?! Clinical and then going to work is going to kill me. I usually like to take each week one step at a time; one day at a time but this just seems impossible. 2 months... 2 months... 2 months... 

I also feel absolutely helpless because my grandma is going to need help getting to her chemo treatments. They live 4 hours away so it's difficult to get up there, for me, during the week with school and with work. Her treatments are 5 days/week. My grandpa works nights during the week at WalMart (don't even get me started on this topic again :( ) and my uncle that lives across the street will be able to do some but he also travels for his job. My other uncle that lives down here is starting to work midnights (he's a police officer) so his time is limited as he'll be working all night. Driving 4 hours to Wisconsin is not going to be all that smart after working all night with no sleep. My aunt is apparently not coming to terms with the fact that her mother is sick and needs help because her offer was 'well, she can come here and live in one of our houses on the golf course. The hospitals here are awesome and she'll get what she needs'. She wants to be home. Who doesn't want to be home when they're sick? I have my own opinions about this whole ordeal but I keep my mouth shut. I just wish I was able to help. Maybe on my Wednesdays off... her treatments start at 10:45am and they're an hour away... so if I left at 5am, that would get me there around 9am, turn around and go an hour away would get us there on time... then drive her home and get back on the road by around 2pm, would get me home by 6 or 7pm. It's an option.... I mean, my uncle's old friend from high school visited my grandma this weekend and offered to fly in whenever, from California, to be able to take my grandma to chemo. But my aunt can't hop in her private jet to visit her mother. Seriously. It makes me sick. You're not going to get this time back. She's got cancer, you imbecile. Stop running to your husband to ask him what his plans are... it's time YOU made the plans. These are your PARENTS. ARGH. :-\ For gosh sakes, my grandpa is duct taping his shoes together because he doesn't have the money to buy new ones. :-( It's unreal.

First Things First.

Well let's start with the good news. I passed Psych nursing. Yes, it is truly a miracle. Thursday I got an email from my instructor saying final grades had been posted on Blackboard and if anyone received 152 points or lower, they need to make an appointment with her ASAP. I could not bring myself to look at the grade. It took me 5 minutes before I gathered up the courage to click on my Blackboard site. After trying to calm myself down long enough to see the grade, it was then that I burst into a full on sob. I had passed with an 80% on my final and 157 points. That is ridiculously close. I cannot even explain the emotion I experienced. I was beyond happy. It is only by the Grace of God that I passed. It is not my doing, that's for darn sure. I am so grateful for all of the friends that kept me in their thoughts Tuesday and in their prayers. They also certainly played a role in it and I am so glad. I have some great friends <3 So onto Med Surg I go... 

Tara was in town this week so I got to spend some time with her Wednesday and Friday. Wednesday we had a girls day in the city and it was beyond needed. We took the train to the city, got a latte, walked to Millennium Park and visited the Bean of course :) Then went to Cafe Boci for lunch which was delicious and very good. We talked about anything and everything to our plans in life to school to boys. It was the perfect lunch. Then we hailed a cab to Sprinkles Cupcakery which was delicious and so fun. The cupcakes were so good. We window shopped on  Michigan Ave, walked to State Street and watched the ABC7 news air from street level. Headed to Argo Tea and had sangria iced tea which was fabulous. Stopped at Garrett's Popcorn for some delicious popcorn. Then went to Payless to buy comfortable shoes because we both had bad ideas in choice of shoes for the day. We could barely walk! My feet STILL ache and it's been 3 days. Then we walked back to the train station, sat around for a bit and talked and headed home on the 7:30pm train. Today we met up at 11am for coffee at Starbucks, shopped in boutique stores in downtown AH and met April for lunch at Salsa17. Shopped some more and then I had to head to work. I hope Tara moves back to town soon. We have a blast together. <3

Meanwhile, my grandma's cancer has been staged 3a lung cancer. The prognosis is about 16 months on chemo and radiation. I hope they give her the option to think about just foregoing chemo and radiation to live the rest of her life pain free rather than be extremely weak and sick. :( It's just a sucky situation all around. My dad is up there now visiting and talking with her. I am working tomorrow so I could not go, which just stinks.

Thursday night I was at work and got a text from my mom saying they were taking my sister to the ER for a possible blood clot. Long story short, she had a bone spur removed Tuesday. Thursday she felt a bump on her calf, redness, swelling, pain, heat. Took her to the ER... 4 hours and a Doppler ultrasound later, they determined it to be DVT. After what seemed like days, she was admitted to the observation unit and was discharged home this morning at 11am with Lovenox injections and 3-6 months of Coumadin therapy. I have so much to say about how the hospital's ER SUCKED  but it's almost 1am, I didn't get home last night from the hospital until 3am and I am beyond exhausted. She was fine all day but then tonight started getting a rash, which can be a sign of internal bleeding if taking an anticoag. She refused to go to the ER so I insisted at least the treatment center, who said they could not do anything for her and if she has a blood clot, she has to go to the ER at the hospital. By the time they got back in the car, the rash had subsided a bit so they went home. I give up. I hope next week is better. :-\

Psych.

Throughout my time in the nursing program this far and being in clinical for Psych, I have come to realize how easy it is for people... normal every day people, like me, to completely lose it. Today was the Mental Health nursing final. I studied a ton and there comes a point when you're studying that you just cannot study anymore. I went into the test this morning with a positive outlook, saying to myself I was going to be fine, I knew the material and I'm going to move on to Med Surg next week with no problem. I took deep breaths, visualized myself on a beach with a margarita in my hand and a good book in the other (something unreleated to nursing). Then I got the final and it's like it all went out the window. The test was 100 questions and for me to pass the class, I need to get a 78% which means I'm able to miss 22 questions of 100. People keep telling me I'm going to be fine and I hate that. People have no CLUE if I'm going to be fine. If they were God standing before me with 'Amanda's Future' in His hands, then yes, I'd believe it if He said I'd be fine. But nobody has any idea if I'll be fine. I don't know if I'll be fine. I know it's just something that's easily said but it doesn't make the other person feel better... it just makes the person saying it feel better. 

I left the room after finishing the test feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Honestly, I thought I was going to pass out. After sitting for a bit, I felt a little better but still felt horrible about the exam. I got in the car to go home and just ended up driving to no place in particular. I didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to explain all of this to have someone try to understand why I was sobbing. I am sick of these stupid tests making me feel like I am a stupid person. I get the material. I understand what I need to be doing. I just cannot relay it to you on a piece of paper with trick questions. And some of them ARE trick questions to throw you off. 

Anyway, I can't stand to wait any longer. I want to know what my plan is for the next 8 weeks. I hope and pray it's Med Surg because I do not want to repeat Psych. I'm crossing everything that's crossable to pass. I just hope it's enough. :-( 

I keep thinking of going on an anxiety medication and I truly think I'm going to look into that now. I cannot keep living like this, throwing things out of proportion, getting so extremely upset about things to the point of crying and then I exhaust myself. I am not against taking any medication a person needs but I just hate to think I need it because of this program. But anxiety can do things to you that make you unrecognizable and I do not like that. :-(

The news is not good.

This morning, I found out my grandma has lung cancer. It hasn't really set in yet for me, I don't think. I'm sad about it but it certainly is not shocking for me unfortunately. She was in the hospital for many different respiratory issues this past summer and the last admission was the worst thus far. They thought she had had a heart attack. Looking back, I wonder why they didn't do a lung biopsy when she was admitted the last time to rule out lung cancer. Looking up the symptoms of lung cancer, she's textbook on all of them. Of course I don't want to look to other vices to blame them because that's what grieving people do right? We blame other people or things... it's part of the process. My grandma will get a PET scan early this coming week which will determine if it has metastasized and what stage she is in. To be honest, I'm expecting the worst. My grandma weighs maybe 80 lbs soaking wet and has deteriorated throughout the past few years. She has COPD, chronic bronchitis, horrible asthma, has 500 cats and is a former smoker. The one thing I am sure that ails her the most right now is 'who is going to take care of the cats when she dies?' because everyone believes she should have gotten rid of them a long time ago. They cannot afford it and with the way her asthma is, it's surely contributing to her coughing fits. But those cats are the only things she has in her life. Her and my grandpa barely speak, they're payments away from getting their home taken from them from the bank because the farm they used to live in never sold when they moved to Wisconsin so they've been paying two mortgages. So much that my grandma has taken a job at a bed and breakfast in their town cleaning rooms and I just found out today my grandpa, who used to be the owner of a company in Chicago, is working the night shift at WalMart collapsing boxes and packing things. He has a heart condition. At this stage in their lives, they should be enjoying life... not wondering if they're going to have enough money to pay their bills. It just breaks my heart :-( 

I'm sure it will all set in when we hear about the PET scan next week. I just have a very bad feeling about it. We're supposed to have a big family reunion next summer in Wisconsin... she's supposed to be at my wedding, hold my babies.... ok, I think it's setting in now. :-'( Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers.

Baby Shower success!

We had Ruth's baby shower today in the nursing lab at school. As far as I think, she was surprised! :) We had a good turn out and a great time. I have found out that I am a serious control freak when it comes to parties and probably needed an Ativan earlier today. After Psych Nursing lecture let out at 11:50am, I had to rush off campus to get small plates for the cake, streamers and balloons. I felt like every.single. slow person in the entire world was in my path. I was racing to get home so I could shower and get ready for the party but was stuck by a bulldozer crossing the street that I had to wait for, a train at the station that seriously took 20 minutes to pass  because some idiot was probably late getting TO the train. I was thisclose to going around the tracks but then that would have seriously put a damper on my arriving back on campus to set up the party by either A) getting killed or B) getting arrested for going around the railroad gates so I nixed that idea immediately :) Then I tried to avoid the traffic light in town by making a right and taking the side road to my house... but there's major construction going on on the main road which apparently meant the side road I was going to take was closed off. Of COURSE it was!! Oy I was beyond help at this point and was so stressed. Loking back, I have no clue why. I had plenty of time but when it comes to parties, I am a control FREAK. Everything must be perfect. So I came home, showered and got ready and then packed everything in the car; the plates (which I ridiculously purchased two different color pinks, then sat yesterday and intertwined light and dark pink plates so it would look pretty... and also put napkins between the plates LOL I know, I'm a bit neurotic), the cups (which I also alternated pinks with), utensils, table cloths, It's A Girl confetti for the cake table, uh, the CAKE LOL, the gift and of course my stuff for class that night as well. I loaded it all up and then went to pick up my friend from school so she could come with me and get a veggie tray. We got to school around 2pm and set everything up in the room and by 3pm, Ruth was there. It was a great party and I'm so glad we could do this for her. :)

On another happy note, I got a 27/30 on my first Physical Assessment test! This is wonderful news, thank you very much. I SUCK at tests so each one I get above an F on, I celebrate. :)

Running and School...Add work and you've got an Amanda Casserole.

Alright so this 5K is coming up in 4 weeks and running is still such a struggle. I don't know when to run anymore because in the morning, I usually have class. In the evening, I'm working or already showered and who wants to blow dry their hair AGAIN? :) Any chance I'll get a huge burst of energy at 7:30am on Oct 30th? Because it's a costume race, I have decided to go as a penguin. How cute, right? LOL It's because I probably look like I waddle when I run and.. I'm slow. So when you're a slow runner (though I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a runner) you're inducted into the penguin club. So I'm representin'. :) I actually bought a cute hat off of Etsy and will wear a bow tie and all black with maybe a white thing on the front of my black top. God help me if summer decides to return on Oct. 30th. I'll die of heat. 

2 more weeks left of Psych nursing, that is, if I pass the final. I need a 79% which doesn't seem difficult to achieve but it is... so pray for me! :) We've had two lab classes for Physical Assessment where we listen to lecture the first 50 minutes and then the next 90 minutes or so, we practice off of our mastery sheet and then once we're comfortable enough, we're tested. It's going well and I've done well both time. What I'm most concerned about is the final where we must do the complete head to toe assessment within 30 minutes. But I'm not worrying about it now as Med Surg I am sure will be more difficult and that is what I'm most freaked out about currently. I am really trying my best to go into it with a positive attitude but when half of my peers are coming out of their 8 weeks with sad stories of them not passing things or how horrible sim is, it's not really easy to maintain positivity. :-\ *fingers crossed*

Ruth's baby shower is Tuesday. I was going to make the cake but discovered I'm not superwoman and when the hell would I have had time to make the cake? The perfectionist that I am, I would have ended up with 6 cakes; none of them good enough. We're having the shower at school in between Pysch and Physical Assessment. I got a bunch of decorations at Hobby Lobby, pink tablecloths, pink napkins, cups, utensils, plates etc. We're having Subway sandwich party trays, fruit, chips, veggies, guac, salsa, etc. I can't wait to see Ruth's face... she's one of the girls in Med Surg right now and is really struggling so I'm sure this will make her feel better. At least I hope so. The girl helping me plan it asked me if we should bring our cameras. If you know me at all, you'll know I laughed and said 'My camera is a permanent part of my body'. :-P It'll be a blast. Monday will be a little hectic with clinical in the morning until 1pm, then picking up the cake at 1:30pm followed by our first Physical Assessment test at 5:30pm-6:00pm. Next week is busy altogether but it's always doable. :) 

In closing (kind of feel I'm making a graduation speech), I just want to say how very glad I am for the people that I have in my life and glad about the people that are not. :)

So Small

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEQj6RrQbgA&NR=1

Worth the watch... and the words.

I ran/walked 2.5 miles today. Not the best but also not terrible. I didn't time myself, take my watch etc. Just me and my ipod. I'd like to thank Glee's 'Telephone' song for today's run because I seriously am obsessed with it. If only I could get away with dancing like crazy while running and people would refrain from pointing and laughing, I probably would do it. It is so catchy and so danceful :) I need to keep doing the 2.5 miles for a bit and keep moving up from there. I have to run this race in a few weeks. Not doing it is not an option. I need to remember to drink some caffeine because I'm fully convinced that was why I had such a wonderful run last fall when I did 4 miles in November or December (can't remember when). I also wish I could run when I get home from work because I drive home thinking 'I could totally go for a run right now'. Too bad I'm too scared I'll end up a victim on a Criminal Minds episode :)

Pre-occupied

I again have been neglecting this blog but I've been so busy and when I come back to write, there's just too much to put here. 

Work has been nutso and I've been called in numerous times in the past few days. Yesterday I was supposed to volunteer at our town's Oktoberfest serving beer from 7p-10p but there was only one tech on the floor at work and I felt bad. We had 29 patients, it would have taken her forever just to complete the vital signs at the beginning of the shift. It was busy and my parents understood about me choosing to work over serving beer. 

School is still manageable but I keep seeing the other half of my class that's in Med Surg the first 8 weeks saying how impossible it is, how they want to quit etc. I hate feeling like that and know it's only a matter of time until that happens for the group that's with me in Pysch the first 8 weeks. I'm trying to really stay positive.... so far it's working. 

Running seriously sucks. That is all I'm saying about that.

Today is a day full of laundry, cleaning and getting ready for the week ahead.Can hardly wait.....

Life

Today's one of those blogging days where I have so many things to write here and so many stories to tell I don't even know where to begin. Today's also a study day seeing as I have my first Psych exam Tuesday  morning and I picked up working yesterday since they were short a tech. 

Alright... Tuesday I got to watch my boys!! I was SO excited when Jane called me Monday night to see if I would be available for a few hours to watch them. Shannon had cheer practice and Riley had football. Jane and her husband had a couple of different things to be at (orientations etc) for the kids so she didn't have anyone to watch the boys or pick up Riley. It is crazy to me how much they've grown since I saw them in July. We played and took pictures (they love to do that LOL) and then went to pick up Riley and his friend from fball. We had a bit of time before we had to pick up R so the sunset happened to be beautiful that night and I decided to take them up to one of the big hills we have around here to see it. We missed it by a little bit (darn traffic!) but the sky was still beautiful and the boys loved the spontaneity of it (running up a fricken steep hill was not fun for any of us LOL). Then we picked up R and his friend and headed over to Dairy Queen for a treat. Brought them home, they ate their ice cream, I cleaned up and then they all headed for the showers, read a story and time for bed. I love saying prayers with them at bedtime. It's one of my favorite things to do when I'm with them. <3 

Running is... not really happening.. AGAIN. It's been so hot (excuse)! Actually my plan today is to charge my ipod, study a lot for my test and run tonight since it's only a high of 70* today. I am also going to look at the route for the 5k in Oct and try to just run that when I run instead of following the C25K. I'll walk when I absolutely need to but I'm determined! :) I am glad that it's September now because that means it's one step closer to December.... which means..... CHRISTMAS! THE END OF THE SEMESTER! :-)

Tuesday I'm going out again with girls from work. I love it!! I am SUPER excited! We're going to try Bocci ball this time around (which will be interesting seeing as I really am not entirely sure what bocci even is LOL). But the company is GREAT. <3 I wanted to go to Sprinkles, the cupcake place in Chicago since I keep hearing about it but I don't think that's going to happen :-\

There's a lot of work stories but those can get long and boring. I do realize I am so very lucky to work where I do. I love the people (for the most part ;-) ) and just enjoy going to work (for the most part LOL).

A passionate subject

Sharing a poem I was read in class yesterday....

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today. 

Politics AND Religion?! *gasp*

I'm pretty much the biggest conservative Christian Republican you can find. This is no secret and although I don't necessarily flaunt it in people's faces, I don't necessarily hide it either. I prefer not to speak politics with people. I'm not going to convert people to "the right side" as people call it so what is the point? Just like people aren't going to convert me to "the left side" until hell freezes over. I think discussing it can bring about interesting points but how many points can a person come up with before an argument ensues? My biggest annoyance is that people don't listen.

I watched Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor Rally today on Facebook as it live streamed from the Lincoln Memorial in DC. I actually was not a huge Glenn Beck fan because he can be a bit over the top but recently, I realized that his "over the topness" is passion for the love of our country. Obviously the top dogs that most people on "the left side" can't stand are Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck... Bill O'Reilly coming in as third but I KNOW Ann Coulter falls in there somewhere in between all of 'em. ;-) But I think many people are annoyed by these people because they're easy to not like. They're telling the truth. Truly, I do not get how people can listen to their radio shows/TV shows etc and think these guys are wrong in what they're saying. The Rally was amazing and was not political. It was a time for a country to come together to start healing from everything that has happened (keyword: come together: unity). My girl, Sarah Palin spoke and unfortunately I missed her :-( She introduced Glenn Beck... I was too late! :-( I did see her towards the end when bagpipes began playing Amazing Grace and then entire crowd of over 500,000 started singing with the bagpipes. I sat here watching it with tears streaming down my face. It was truly an amazing moment. I so wish I had been in DC today :-(

Here's another issue I'm passionate about and it's interesting that an atheist's point of view is one I agree with, isn't it? :-) We're all afraid of offending people of different religions and races but if something is wrong, it's WRONG. Build your mosque somewhere else... but it is disrespectful to build it within such close proximity to the grounds where too many innocent people lost their lives because of those teachings. And the fact that Obama isn't backing us up on it as the LEADER of this country is appalling. That is all. 

I hope I don't eat my words....

...but second semester seems like it may be a good one. I did hear the word 'simulation' though which sent anxiety shooting through my body as well as palpitations and just plain scary feelings. LOL But one day at a time.

My Psych professor is super sweet and nice, almost overly nice, but just makes you feel comfortable. I love it! We have our first clinical tomorrow morning from 8-1:30pm but it's just orientation to the mental health unit. Clinical is going to be much different these next 8 weeks compared to last semester, for sure. We have to wear business attire (which I'm already flipping out about... now I have to figure out what to wear!), flat shoes (you know, so when we're being chased by someone who has schizophrenia, we have good traction on our shoes... heh), no earrings (not even post earrings because if a patient hits your ear, it could puncture an artery... fab!), necklaces or ties so that the patients don't choke us. I am SUPER pumped. :-\ Anyway, no stethoscopes, writing utensils, books etc. Just a folder. So weird! I almost feel naked. 

Physical Assessment was ok as well except for the fact that during lecture about the class, the professor talked to us about "appropriate clothing" for the class which included sports bras, bathing suits or bathing suit tops, cami tanks and shorts or baggy sweat pants because we'll be assessing each other. *running to look up grapefruit diet so my partner doesn't want to shoot her eyes out after assessing me*. Ay! Not thrilled with that at all. There's little simulations after each class on whatever body system we've learned for that class that we must pass. That's a little scary but I actually think it might help me in the long run if we do it every week, I may get used to being watched and that might make the other simulations a little less anxiety-filled. At least, I hope! I am not thrilled though that this class is only at 5p-7:40p and that that was the only time we could sign up... that is RIGHT in the middle of dinner time and I take that seriously. :-P I just don't like being at school so late however, looking at the positive, since we have class Tuesday mornings until noon, staying there to eat lunch and then using the afternoon to practice may be beneficial. Tuesdays will just be school days, I guess from 8a-8p. Yay for 12 hour school days. :-( 

One day down, 105 to go! Oy!

Second Semester Nursing School Eve

Lately I haven't been sleeping well or haven't been able to fall asleep until ungodly hours of the morning. I lay in my bed in silence not being able to turn my brain off and it's really getting to be frustrating. My thoughts are consumed involuntarily with nursing school. I am trying to remember everything from last semester, which just is not an option, trying to think of better routines to help me manage my time (clearly, thinking about all of this at 1, 2 or 3am is really helping manage my time the next morning, when I don't get up until 10am... sheesh), what days I'm going to be able to run, read, practice skills. I lay here and feel my pulse race. I haven't the slightest idea why because I know I can do this... I even tell myself that... snap out of it! You have 2 more semesters left after this... one year! That is it! This year flew by.. this semester will fly by with all of the holidays coming up and so forth. Next semester is one I'm looking forward to the most with Pediatric and OB rotations. Calm down! 

If this keeps up, I'm thinking a visit to the doctor for anti-anxiety medication is in store and I hate that. :-(  I just want to turn my brain off and go to sleep!

Happy C25K Anniversary!

It's been one year since I started the Couch to 5K running program. Funny how I restarted the program this past week almost a year to the date of beginning it altogether. I never thought I'd be able to (or want to) run for exercise. I don't mind walking but running? That's a whole different ballgame. It's not been easy, that's for sure, and I wish I had done more after completing the program but there's always this time, right? :-) If I can do this program, anyone can. It challenges you to the point of thinking you might die but you get through it and it's a wonderful feeling to know you've completed something you never thought you'd do. I tend to make unrealistic goals for myself and then get frustrated when I don't achieve them. I think that's why I am so happy I did this and why the 5K I ran in meant to much to me. Crazy though how quickly a year goes...

Re-W1: Finito!

I've completed C25K W1. Today was great... I am definitely more of an evening runner because apparently that's when I have most of my energy. I drive home from work and think 'I could definitely go for a run right now!' I hate that because I'd rather have that energy in the morning. I have work to thank for that, I suppose. Anyway, running went well. I'm trying to focus on my posture and pay more attention to that, especially after seeing how disgusting I looked in my 5K race photos from November. Live and learn. If you've read anything about C25K, you know W1 is run 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds. Today I ran over 60 seconds when I didn't constantly look at my watch which was good. I had the endurance to keep going but also didn't want to push it, especially in this heat. While running, I saw a girl probably a bit younger than me walking (she looked like she had been running by the amount of sweat dripping from her body). I felt huge running on the street beside her but then I thought of this article I read a few days ago, which I really think those of us who are bigger should print out and keep as motivation and a self esteem booster. It is written by a member of SparkPeople and the actual blog entry can be found here. I also have it below.

I like to call myself the jiggly runner, the fast fatty! I love the looks of skinny people in the train station on the escalator, staring in amazement as I quickly bound up a flight of 50 steps!

I'm 256 pounds and 5'6", which is morbidly obese (9 more pounds lost and I will be merely "obese," hooray). Last week I ran a little over a mile on the treadmill. I'm signed up for my first "live" 5K in a little over a month, which I'm hoping to complete in an hour or less. I don't win medals for speed, but I do run longer and faster than many people that I know.

When people question me about Couch to 5K (C25K) and how a big girl like me can do it, they inevitably state:

"But I'm too fat to run! Maybe I'll try later when I lose some weight..."

I've been fat for an entire lifetime, but I'm not waiting until I lose weight to run. Running is going to help me shed these pounds. A coordinated running program keeps me on a tight schedule, and the 5K looming on the horizon is incentive enough to make me want to finish in style.

Are you too fat to run?

Well, first of all, everyone should get the advice of their doctor before starting an exercise program. I may be a big girl, but I'm considerably young (now 29), and (knock on wood) I have no other health concerns such as arthritis, diabetes, hypertension, et cetera.

Also, I can run longer than some of my skinny friends, so some might consider me a "fit fatty." It's important to note that large size does not necessarily indicate "extremely unfit" and small size does not always equate "super fit." These are misconceptions that skinny people, in their never-ending quest to subjugate the fatties (kidding, kidding) have propagated to make them feel better about their Olive Oyl physiques.

If you are fit to run, here are My Top 3 reasons for trying C25K:

1. You will lose weight.

2. You will develop fitness, stamina, and balance.

3. You will impress yourself.

So if you've decided to take the plunge and start running, here are my thoughts for running while obese:

1. C25K is hard but rewarding. I'm not going to lie to you. It will be harder for you as an obese person to run this program. Duh. We are carrying more weight and most of us haven't run in a very long time (if at all). I had an irrational fear of lifting my foot off the pavement for a very long time, and it's very easy to psyche yourself out. But you can do it. And when you run for a prolonged amount of time after finding it difficult to run for one minute in the first week, it's a huge rush!

2. It will take you more than 9 weeks, most likely. C25K is officially a 9-week program, but I estimate that 90% of the people who finish do not finish in 9 weeks. Life happens, and we might have to skip a week and go back. Or Week 4 might be busting your butt, and you need to repeat it. It's inevitable. AND IT'S OK.

3. You do not have to run a 12-minute mile. I consider "running" to be anything where you cannot physically continue at that pace without lifting one foot fully off the ground before placing the other one in its place. Depending on your stride and fitness level, this could be anything from 3.5-5.0+ miles per hour. You're not training for speed, so don't worry about it. Run at a pace that is comfortable. It is much better to complete a 5-minute run at 4.2 mph than to fizzle out in the middle at 5 mph.

4. People will watch you... mostly in amazement. You're a big person. You're running. Given the general stereotype of a runner, you're an anomaly. It is OK. Most of the time, people will be watching you because they are inspired and amazed at your abilities. I've gotten so many supportive comments from surprised people who watch me run. A woman who must have been no more than 120 pounds who was walking on the treadmill saw me stopping and starting and complimented me and asked what I was doing. I told her about C25K and she said she was going to try it herself.

Other times, people will be close-minded and thinking "Look at that fatty run!" Listen, you're overweight and people can be cruel. I'm sure you know this by now. If you were sitting on the street corner eating a Twinkie, a passerby will probably think or say "You eat that Twinkie, fatty! Put on that weight!" If you were sitting on the corner eating a rice cake, someone will probably think or say, "You eat that rice cake, fatty! Lose that weight!" It's a no-win situation. It was my lot in high school, and it was probably yours as well.

Defy expectations. Run for yourself.

5. Get your gear. Get a pair of bike shorts or tight spandex pants. It is by far the easiest thing to run in and keeps those thighs from rubbing together while you run. It is way easier than trying to run in a pair of sweatpants. Ladies, purchase the tightest sports bra you can find because you don't want those puppies to bounce more than necessary.

6. Enjoy the run! Plot out new routes, find a running partner, switch up music and songs, and take it at your own pace. See what works for you!

As always, let me know if I can help you in any way! Stay tuned for Part Two of this series!

SparkPeople.com is my new favorite place to hang out. There's a TON of groups to join for fitness goals, motivation and people in the same boat as you. I <3 it. You make your own SparkPage and go from there. Honestly, you could spend hours on the darn site but I recommend it!

 

Things I'm obsessed with....

1. House Hunters on HGTV. I don't really know why this show intrigues me so much but it does. They must be told to say ridiculous pros and cons while being shown a home to keep the show interesting because yesterday I saw one that the woman commented on the wallpaper in the bathroom 'Welllll, I don't like wallpaper....'. Hello? Have you ever heard of the wallpaper remover paste and a sponge? Yes, of course it's a pain in the butt but if I can do it, anyone can!

2. Etsy.com. I know, I know... this website has been around for awhile but I just never thought I'd have interest in it. Now I'm wanting to stock up on adorable children's things to stow away for when I have kids. You don't think that would be too creepy, do you? Hi, I'm Amanda... and this here plastic tub is full of my future children's clothing/bows/general cuteness that I could not simply pass up.' I may as well plan my future wedding as well and then buy a tux with a sign on it that says 'Just add man'. We all know I already stole borrowed (heh) my children's first hats from work (although the hats I see on etsy.com may be cuter so I may have to reevaluate when that times comes. I figure I should give myself SOMETHING to figure out when that times comes, since everything else will be already planned ;-) ). 

But included in this obsession, I must list my favorites... like these.Are you kidding me?! Or these? How FREAKEN adorable are those?!?!?! Honestly, my first baby better be a girl. LOL And seriously, there's too many dresses on there for me to even list here.

3. Reality shows. I used to care less about them... they kind of reminded me of The View; a bunch of rich women arguing with each other/talking over each other blah blah blah. But now I'm obsessed. My friend Jen got me hooked (and I do mean HOOKED) on The Real Housewives of NJ. So much that I wish one of the housewives was my IRL friend. LOL I did comment on her wall (because naturally we're friends on Facebook, duh) and she actually replied to me on her wall! It was a Tom Cruise Oprah 'jump on the couch' moment. Magical. No but seriously, it was pretty cool (and yes, it's really her). She just always has the best advice and doesn't get involved with all of the drama and crap her family is involved with. She's calm, cool and collected. I'm also obsessed with those kooky Kardashian's both their family show and Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. It's like a car accident; you don't want to look but you cannot help it. Let's see, other ones include Jersylicious on E! (this one I'm most embarrassed about... seriously, it's a show about some hairdressers in Jersey, their long fake acrylic nails and how high they can tease their hair), Big Brother (of course... I wait every summer for this one) and my most favoritest, Bethenny Getting Married. I want to BE Bethenny. I loooove her humor. She cracks me the heck up every time I watch the show and I'm so sad the season is over. I think I love these shows because it's mindless and I don't have to think about a darn thing while watching them except who's fighting with whom. It's great! :-)

4. Cupcakes. Not just any cupcakes but prettiful, delicious, gourmet cupcakes. I've become entranced with Cupcake Wars on Food Network and am intrigued by a lavendar cupcake with honey buttercream frosting. My mom was sweet and bought 3 cupcakes from the store yesterday but they were nothing to write home about, that's for sure. Sweet gesture, not so good cupcakes. And suddenly I feel like I'm one of the judges on the show: Hmmm, the red velvet cake was good... a little dry but ok but the cream cheese frosting was waaaay too cream cheesy. The banana nut cupcake with chocolate ganache frosting topped with a banana chip was good but the cake was a bit dry and the white vanilla cupcake was good but the buttercream frosting, well, they may as well have called it butter frosting because that's what it tasted like with maybe a sprinkle of sugar. Overall, the banana nut with chocolate ganache frosting was the best... who do I give the ribbon to?' Pfft. I'm really anxious to go here because their cupcakes look adorable and are supposedly delicious. Two in one! One day I'm just going to make a trip out of it and head into the city. Did I mention I also want to quit school and become a cupcake maker? ;-)

5. Vera Bradley. Anyone that knows me at all knows I <3 VB. She's my homegirl and I love all most of her designs. Some of them are kind of old looking but she keeps coming out with adorable patterns and I cannot keep up! It doesn't help that the ones I want are expensive. I bought a planner yesterday from VB for school because I'm a complete dork and feel like if I have a pretty planner, my life will be complete I like to be fully organized before the craziness that is nursing school begins again. 

6. Blogs. Not my own because after reading other people's blogs, mine does not rate anywhere on the 1-10 scale, for sure. But I looove reading other peoples. I especially like to read review blogs. There are so many things out there we have no idea about like this adorable gown  to wear in the hospital. There's even a blanket to match.. hello, photo op! They have adorable gifts and other things that are much prettier than those gross hospital gowns.  Anyway, I love this review blog. It's so cute and she has a lot of cute things on there. I love seeing unusual things and she reviews a lot of them. 

7. Traveling. It's funny because just a few years ago, you couldn't pay me to go somewhere besides my home. Let's face it, everyone knows I'm a homebody. I like knowing where things are around me plus, who doesn't like to sleep in their own bed? But now, at the ripe old age of 23 and 3/4 (haha) I feel crunched for time on traveling. I want to go so many places before I settle down, get married and have kids (and don't get me wrong, none of that is on the horizon as of now so it's not like it's creeping up on me) but still. It's like if I don't travel within a certain amount of time, I get this itch. I sooo want to go back to Italy (especially after watching the Housewives of NJ travel there on their show last week), Vegas of course because I've never been, Seattle because it just looks so pretty, anywhere down South obviously, Canada, Alaska, Hawaii and so forth. Yah, unrealistic, I know! But it's my dream. :-P 

8. The Shabby Apple. I never have to look for a dress anywhere else again... because this place has adorable dresses!! They have something for every body type and style and now I wish I had some place I needed a dress for and really, the prices aren't horrid either. Cuteness! Really, I'm obsessed with cute clothes and putting outfits together. I wish I was skinny so I could wear some of these adorable outfits that I see. Working on it!

9. Which brings me to my next obsession; work out clothing. I wish I could go out there and run in whatever. But I can't. Everything must match. I like looking at http://www.lucy.com/ because they have cute active clothing but it is a bit expensive (hence my keyword of 'looking'). :-) 

That's all for now. My obsessions change very often though so I'm sure I'll be adding some. :-)

Re-W1D1

Yes, it has begun. I'm also signing up for a race near Halloween with Jane, the mother of the 4 kids I watched. She's said she's always wanted to run a 5K with me and I thought 'well, there's motivation, by signing up for a race'... plus she's like a friggen stick so I'm sure I'll look like an ogre next to her but whatever. I'm doing it, right? 

Today's run was a doozy and all I can say is: Man, I am really out of shape! At first it wasn't a big deal at all and running for 60 seconds, then walking for 90 seemed too easy. 60 seconds of running actually seemed to fly by. Then it got to be about 15 minutes into it and I wanted to clutch my chest and begin some sort of dramatic scene from a soap opera by falling to the floor. I think my plan of just completely restarting the whole thing is a good idea, rather than starting in the middle. I just really really hope I can stick with it this time with the stress of school. That scares me a little bit. But, I did it and it's behind me today. I wish I could find my Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD. I hated loooooved that DVD and really saw results (you know, NOW I see them now that I feel like snuffalufgus). I do have her 'trouble zones' DVD but... it's really hard! LOL The 30 Day Shred was hard but empowering and doable. Yes, you cry afterward and beg your legs to 'come back to the light' but it worked! Ugh.. I have to find it.

The little things, baby.

Can I just say how excited I'm going to be when I can actually enjoy an upcoming fall season and not stress out about school beginning? There has never been an August where I think I've enjoyed the month itself because I'm too concerned about school starting at the end of the month. The nurses in our hospital have green tags hanging below their badges that say RN so patients can differentiate between the nurse and the tech. Two of my friends are on their orientation for nursing right now and I saw my friend today (she's going to be back on PM's only as a nurse instead of a tech.. so weird!) and asked her how she felt about having that sacred green RN tag on her badge and she said 'it was the most exciting thing that happened during orientation'. 

And truly, I live for that day. Ok wait, I take that back.. I live for the day I graduate.... ok wait, I live for the day that I get my NCLEX RN Board exam test results in the mail that say I passed and am officially an RN. Seriously. 

One day this will be on MY badge.

My last week

Yes, it has finally come... my last week of summer. :-( I actually have a pit in my stomach thinking about it. I really need to try having a positive attitude (I keep telling myself this) but sitting at work listening to these nurses, I seriously do not know how I'm going to ever be that good or know what the heck I'm doing. It really concerns me. I know I feel like this often about nursing and I know most of it has to do with the fact that I still feel blind and have no clue what I'm doing (and rightfully so... I'm only beginning my second semester of four). I just wish I knew what I was doing already and was a nurse. I hate learning. :-\ I like being comfortable and knowing what to do, which is ironic because the only way that happens is by learning, so....

Anyway, not much planned this week. I worked this weekend and work again (technically) tonight since it's 12:15am and then not again until Friday (which will be nice because I feel like I've been working like a maniac lately). And anything to make this week go by slowly. I have to run to school probably Tuesday to buy my books (which will be so depressing since books cost a bajillion dollars) and then start reading so I'm ready for class next week (ahhh). 

Let's not think about that! Last Tuesday I went out with friends from work and had. a. BLAST. I really cannot even explain how much fun I had. I love the girls I went out with and consider two of them like my sisters. We had dinner and then the restaurant has bowling and bocce ball so we played 2 games of bowling. I laughed so hard, had the best wine and was with the greatest friends. I hope we continue to do girls night every month because I could use the sanity during school (if I have the time!). 

Last weekend, my dad's cousins had a surprise anniversary party for their parents so we went there. It was fun to see everyone and the cousin's wives are all really great so we had fun conversing about Eclipse and our love for Edward ;-) and playing bags.