So many things to say.....

...and no one to understand what I'm saying. Fun.

I wish I could figure out how to think of myself first, my own feelings and my own life before everyone else. But at the same time, I like that I think of other people often. I am really beginning to get worn out from always wondering what people are thinking of me. I want people to see that I'm a nice person, that I will help in whatever way I can and that I'm not a mean person. Whether if it's work, friends, family etc. But I don't want to be taken advantage of and sometimes, that's exactly how I feel. I want balls. I want to be able to speak my mind without people thinking 'Wow, what a bitch'.

Anticipation of firsts.....

Life is funny... I have so many important events to look forward to in my life but it seems like such a small portion and it'll all probably happen within a few years of each other and then what do I have to look forward to?? ;-) Things like being in a long-term relationship, getting engaged, planning a wedding, HAVING my wedding (and I know everyone can't WAIT for that bridezilla-ish event ;-) ), buying my first house and what it'll look like, how it'll be decorated. Will it have a little white fence, beautiful landscaping, a swing in the tree? The first time I find out I am pregnant, going through the pregnancy, the labor and the delivery, seeing my baby and what it will look like... and then after that, in my mind, it seems like everything else becomes routine. You don't ever get to have that first house again, or that first marriage (hopefully that won't be a worry ;-) ), that first baby. I don't know why I was thinking about this but it's kind of exciting and scary. And I don't want it to be over. I kind of like the anticipation. :-)

So many people make me want to roll my eyes. People suck.

Meanwhile, can't wait for tomorrow night!

A tender moment.

Yesterday at work, we had a new admission (well, technically we had 4 and it was a crazy night but I won't get into that). The family was already in the mom's room, waiting for her to be transferred over, including her son, who is about 5 years old. The 5 yr old was standing in the hallway talking to me and asked when his mommy was coming. Meanwhile, the lullaby went off over the intercom to indicate mom was being transferred to us and when the nurse wheeled her through the door down the hallway, the look on the 5 yr old's face was enough to make me cry. Gosh, it was priceless. He looked at her with the most loving eyes like 'I am so proud of you, mom'. He stopped her halfway down the hall in the wheelchair and kissed her and asked about his new baby sister. Absolutely the best part of my day yesterday, hands down. These are the moments....

The Results.

I ROCKED the NLN. I guess I was underestimating myself. Who knew? :)