Friends

I'm not sure what my problem is lately. I just turned off 'Now and Then' in tears because they showed a picture of 4 girls who were best friends. I see bumper stickers on Facebook that describe friendships I yearn to have and 'x' out. Maybe because I've experienced having a group of close friends in my past, it makes me miss it even more. Maybe I'm just in a weepy hormonal moment of the month which is entirely possible. I want that 'sisterly' friendship where you just know what the other person wants without asking, without judging. I guess that's a lot to ask. I think a lot of it has to do with my own issues too. I have realized recently the way I put myself last just about all the time... and just how judgmental I am of myself and how I strive to be perfect when I know I'm not. I strive to please people, to say the right things, to be the perfect person and I'm not. I'm sick of putting myself out to help other people all the time... I'm tired of listening to people all the time and never getting a chance to say what I want. I realize I am unhappy and I'm just tired.