9/11

I still get chills thinking of 9/11/01 and the events that happened. It feels like it was just yesterday I was sitting in study hall, my freshman year of high school, when they announced over the speakers the World Trade Center had been hit by a plane. To be honest, I didn't really even know what the Trade Center was.... at 15 years old, it's not something you pay much attention to. But then they brought us to a classroom across the hall where they turned on the TVs and we watched it all unfold. It makes me want to sob. What a sad, tragic day. God Bless all of the families who lost their loved ones.... all of the families that have their loved ones fighting a battle of the United States... who put their lives on the line to keep our freedom. 'Thank you' doesn't even begin to express the gratitude I have. America will NEVER forget this day.

Wednesday.

So last night when I got home from work, I plugged in my blackberry because the signal at work sucks and it's constantly searching for one thus my battery is pretty drained by the time I get home. I noticed my phone was not charging. I changed outlets, thinking that was the issue but it wasn't. I finally got it to where it would charge so I didn't move it, hoping it'd just charge. I use my phone as my alarm clock and have it set for 7am on Monday and Wednesdays because I have school that starts at 9am. I woke up this morning at 9:56am. My phone had turned off because the battery was 0%. I missed my Micro lab, costing me points, missed my weekly lab quiz (5 pts but still) and now my teacher probably thinks I am an even BIGGER idiot. I flipped when I woke up, ran to take a shower to try and make it to lecture, which started at 11am. I left my house at 10:30am, which should have given me ample time to find a parking spot you would think. After driving around the damn parking lot for 15 minutes and not finding a spot and on the verge of crying/wanting to throw a rock at someone's window, I parked in the faculty lot. Was I worried about getting a ticket? Nope and as a matter of fact, had someone approached me about a ticket at ALL, I would have dared them to give it to me or tow my car. Whatever you need to do.... all these empty faculty spots and the rest of us have to circle the lot for an hour. @@ (I did not get a ticket btw). I got to lecture with 5 minutes to spare, talked to my professor and said 'I overslept'. I asked if I should make up the lab after lecture with the other section or tomorrow during her office hours. She said she'd make room for me, which was very nice of her. I sat through lecture the entire time with tears in my eyes because I was so pissed at myself/felt sorry for myself. I went to lab and felt like such an outcast standing on the side, waiting to see if someone wouldn't show up so I could sit at a lab table. I actually ended up sitting at my regular lab table in my regular seat and the people at the table were nice. I did what I needed to do and left. By that time it was 1:40pm. I rushed home, tried to eat some lunch and then went to work my 6th day of work in a row. I realize this day is not someone's description of an 'awful day' but it was just one thing after another. I did get a wake up call today when we had a woman come back from surgery after having an ectopic pregnancy. She was still pretty knocked out and while they were transferring her to her new room in our unit, her husband was holding her hand. It made me tear up and think 'Now they're having a bad day....all of my stuff is petty compared to them' or the Code Blue they called for the unit next to ours.... and then I saw them cleaning the bed... that man or woman had a bad day... :-( Sometimes working in healthcare gives you a new perception.

I just feel like once I finally get ahead of myself, I fall behind. I have laundry to do, sheets to change, a prescription waiting for me for the past 2 days that I have not had the time to even stop at the pharmacy to pick up... and the pharmacy is literally 1 mile from me. And now I have to go to Sprint tomorrow to find out why this stupid 1 week old phone charger is not working. Plus run and then babysit tomorrow night for my cousin. I have a test Monday and the girls from my lab table want to get together to study on Saturday. I am just not feelin' that. But I'll go anyway. My dad left today for Boston with a good friend of his, my uncle and another officer from the PPD to ride in the Tour de Force bike race again like he did last year. I wish I could have gone this year but he's really never in one spot for long and when the race ends on Tuesday, they'll start driving home through the night and will be home Wednesday. I pray he does well in the race.

*I don't know why my paragraphs all run together. I separate them when I'm writing them but apparently they're not recognizing that.

SERIOUSLY.

I am... SO sick of people and their fricken 'my job is better than your job, I am more important than you are' CRAP. Seriously, what the hell. I am so sorry you chose to work in a more critical area where you could have 5 pregnant mother's come in at once, or that you cannot get a dinner break because you have to watch the monitor's so you know when your patient is contracting. It is not funny anymore. Shut the hell up and do your damn job. I could care less if you're "joking" or not, it's not and never was funny. I'm really not quite sure why smaller units inside one big unit cannot get along and learn to work together. Some people spend more energy bitching about how the "other people" never do anything. It makes me want to scream. Stop being so immature, stop flipping your hair and acting like you're the valley girl high school cheerleader who's more popular than the band geeks, stop rolling your eyes and just STOP talking about people. You want to go back to high school? Fine! THIS is real life. This is NOT high school. I just hope they know how fricken stupid they look. @@ UGH.

Meanwhile, running today was alright. I am just not in the mood lately. I've had so much going on and working 6 days in a row is a pain in the butt sometimes. But then add school to the mix and such and holding onto my sanity... good times. I need to keep my motivation. My knees are starting to hurt a bit so I'm a little scared about that. Today was supposed to start off 90 seconds running, 90 seconds walking, 3 minutes running followed by 3 minutes of walking... I started off in the opposite... 3 minutes of running first. No wonder I felt a little tired at first (besides the whole lack of sleep thing). I have to start studying for my test on Monday, work out tomorrow, work tomorrow, laundry, get my life back together since the past 6 days have been eat, sleep, run, work. I'm just glad this week is almost over.

Happy Labor Day!

It's unofficially the end of summer and I feel like we didn't even get one. However, that's not horrible, at least not for me. I like the cooler weather, cannot stand the humidity (and neither can my hair).  The weather recently however has been absolutely beautiful. Nothing above about 80* and breezy. I wish we could have this year 'round. But I do look forward to sweaters and jeans. Yay!

I am having issues with time management. I hate working so many days in a row and trying to finish school stuff plus other things I normally have to do. I just feel like my life is in disarray when I let things go because I'm never home.

Running on Saturday went surprisingly well. Of course I was tired and it was difficult but I have faith it'll get better. :-) I need to start eating before running. I think that is my problem. I feel run down very quick. I bought new running shoes yesterday. Unfortunately they're not pink. LOL But they're comfortable and provide more support than the ones I was wearing. We'll see! I still have not sent in the registration form for the race in November. Just add that to my list of 'things to do'.

I only want to do what's right. Yeah, sometimes I mess up big time and hurt someone because of a stupid choice. Hurting people is not on my agenda. I know how it feels to be hurt and it sucks. I know trying to do the right thing all of the time can be boring to some, especially during the ride, but when I get to that finish line, I want to look back and know that I tried and be proud of myself rather than regretting. 


Off topic, I found my former Sociology teacher's obituary. It is so sad :-( Her poor mom. I guess she must have had cancer or something. I hope she died peacefully. http://www.limaohio.com/articles/lima-41138-fitzgerald-bridget.html

Apple and then some

I had a slight awkward moment today at the mall. I went with a friend to the Apple Store.... she wanted to get a Mac laptop but since I am a student, I get a discount plus this month if you buy a laptop there, you get a free ipod touch (after a mail in rebate). So I met her at the store and we went in and I pretended the laptop was for me. When it came time to pay, my friend said she was paying for it (because she wanted it on her credit card). The saleslady looked at us like we had horns growing out of our heads. Do people not do anything for others anymore? Is it really that strange that someone is buying something for someone else? I get that a mac is not cheap and it well over $1000 but still. She went on and asked if we were related... yes, we look identical, especially since my friend is Filipino. LOL I just said 'Nope, just good friends' and she looked at us again like we were the strangest people ever. It was so awkward. LOL Afterwards, we went to The Cheesecake Factory for some late lunch and enjoyed some drinks. Yummers. It was good company and good fun. :-)

My professor emailed me back (re: my previous post about me being an idiot) and said she doesn't think I am an idiot (yay!) and she understands students get nervous when taking tests.

I've been thinking of getting my ears double pierced. I don't know why I am hesitant as I've had them double pierced before but they closed up. Maybe I just feel all rebellious if I have more than 2 total piercings, who knows. It's not like it's a tongue ring or a tattoo for gosh sakes. I just cannot make a decision to save my life.

                Running today was awful. I started out ok but towards the middle just felt so run down and kept looking at my watch wondering if it was time to walk. I don't know if it's from lack of sleep or what but I was not happy. Hopefully Saturday won't be too bad as I start week 3. Especially since tomorrow starts a 6 day in a row stint of working. Blehhh. At least I have a job, yes?

My stupidity.

Every lab for Microbiology we have a quiz from the last lab. Monday we learned to make slides with bacteria and one of the questions on the quiz today was 'What is the difference between making a slide using broth and making a slide using a plate?' I tried to go into more detail answering the question but instead made myself look like a flippin' IDIOT. @@ Instead of just putting 'You'd use water for making a plate slide and not for making a broth slide.' I added 'You dip your index finger into the beaker of water and put a drop from your finger onto the slide'. Wellll that is WRONG. You first sterilize an inoculating loop using a Bunsen burner and then dip it in the beaker of water.... the inoculating loop has a little circle on the end (like a mini bubble wand) and catches some water, then you put it on the slide, re-sterilize the loop etc. You do NOT use your freaken FINGER unless you move it through the flame to sterilize it.

So, because I care way too much what people think of me, I am emailing my professor and telling her that I am NOT emailing her to get her to change my grade and expect points to be taken off but that I really am not as big of an idiot as that quiz probably makes me look. I could kick myself! I knew as soon as I turned it in and at that point, you can't go and grab it back to fix it. So I will be the idiot emailing my professor. Argh. Watch this make me look like an even bigger idiot. Yes, it's possible.

Speaking of school, I just found out that my Sociology professor passed away yesterday. I am completely shocked and saddened by this. I don't know how she died but she was very young... maybe 35. Prayers for her family. :-(