So Small

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEQj6RrQbgA&NR=1

Worth the watch... and the words.

I ran/walked 2.5 miles today. Not the best but also not terrible. I didn't time myself, take my watch etc. Just me and my ipod. I'd like to thank Glee's 'Telephone' song for today's run because I seriously am obsessed with it. If only I could get away with dancing like crazy while running and people would refrain from pointing and laughing, I probably would do it. It is so catchy and so danceful :) I need to keep doing the 2.5 miles for a bit and keep moving up from there. I have to run this race in a few weeks. Not doing it is not an option. I need to remember to drink some caffeine because I'm fully convinced that was why I had such a wonderful run last fall when I did 4 miles in November or December (can't remember when). I also wish I could run when I get home from work because I drive home thinking 'I could totally go for a run right now'. Too bad I'm too scared I'll end up a victim on a Criminal Minds episode :)

Pre-occupied

I again have been neglecting this blog but I've been so busy and when I come back to write, there's just too much to put here. 

Work has been nutso and I've been called in numerous times in the past few days. Yesterday I was supposed to volunteer at our town's Oktoberfest serving beer from 7p-10p but there was only one tech on the floor at work and I felt bad. We had 29 patients, it would have taken her forever just to complete the vital signs at the beginning of the shift. It was busy and my parents understood about me choosing to work over serving beer. 

School is still manageable but I keep seeing the other half of my class that's in Med Surg the first 8 weeks saying how impossible it is, how they want to quit etc. I hate feeling like that and know it's only a matter of time until that happens for the group that's with me in Pysch the first 8 weeks. I'm trying to really stay positive.... so far it's working. 

Running seriously sucks. That is all I'm saying about that.

Today is a day full of laundry, cleaning and getting ready for the week ahead.Can hardly wait.....

Life

Today's one of those blogging days where I have so many things to write here and so many stories to tell I don't even know where to begin. Today's also a study day seeing as I have my first Psych exam Tuesday  morning and I picked up working yesterday since they were short a tech. 

Alright... Tuesday I got to watch my boys!! I was SO excited when Jane called me Monday night to see if I would be available for a few hours to watch them. Shannon had cheer practice and Riley had football. Jane and her husband had a couple of different things to be at (orientations etc) for the kids so she didn't have anyone to watch the boys or pick up Riley. It is crazy to me how much they've grown since I saw them in July. We played and took pictures (they love to do that LOL) and then went to pick up Riley and his friend from fball. We had a bit of time before we had to pick up R so the sunset happened to be beautiful that night and I decided to take them up to one of the big hills we have around here to see it. We missed it by a little bit (darn traffic!) but the sky was still beautiful and the boys loved the spontaneity of it (running up a fricken steep hill was not fun for any of us LOL). Then we picked up R and his friend and headed over to Dairy Queen for a treat. Brought them home, they ate their ice cream, I cleaned up and then they all headed for the showers, read a story and time for bed. I love saying prayers with them at bedtime. It's one of my favorite things to do when I'm with them. <3 

Running is... not really happening.. AGAIN. It's been so hot (excuse)! Actually my plan today is to charge my ipod, study a lot for my test and run tonight since it's only a high of 70* today. I am also going to look at the route for the 5k in Oct and try to just run that when I run instead of following the C25K. I'll walk when I absolutely need to but I'm determined! :) I am glad that it's September now because that means it's one step closer to December.... which means..... CHRISTMAS! THE END OF THE SEMESTER! :-)

Tuesday I'm going out again with girls from work. I love it!! I am SUPER excited! We're going to try Bocci ball this time around (which will be interesting seeing as I really am not entirely sure what bocci even is LOL). But the company is GREAT. <3 I wanted to go to Sprinkles, the cupcake place in Chicago since I keep hearing about it but I don't think that's going to happen :-\

There's a lot of work stories but those can get long and boring. I do realize I am so very lucky to work where I do. I love the people (for the most part ;-) ) and just enjoy going to work (for the most part LOL).

A passionate subject

Sharing a poem I was read in class yesterday....

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today. 

Politics AND Religion?! *gasp*

I'm pretty much the biggest conservative Christian Republican you can find. This is no secret and although I don't necessarily flaunt it in people's faces, I don't necessarily hide it either. I prefer not to speak politics with people. I'm not going to convert people to "the right side" as people call it so what is the point? Just like people aren't going to convert me to "the left side" until hell freezes over. I think discussing it can bring about interesting points but how many points can a person come up with before an argument ensues? My biggest annoyance is that people don't listen.

I watched Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor Rally today on Facebook as it live streamed from the Lincoln Memorial in DC. I actually was not a huge Glenn Beck fan because he can be a bit over the top but recently, I realized that his "over the topness" is passion for the love of our country. Obviously the top dogs that most people on "the left side" can't stand are Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck... Bill O'Reilly coming in as third but I KNOW Ann Coulter falls in there somewhere in between all of 'em. ;-) But I think many people are annoyed by these people because they're easy to not like. They're telling the truth. Truly, I do not get how people can listen to their radio shows/TV shows etc and think these guys are wrong in what they're saying. The Rally was amazing and was not political. It was a time for a country to come together to start healing from everything that has happened (keyword: come together: unity). My girl, Sarah Palin spoke and unfortunately I missed her :-( She introduced Glenn Beck... I was too late! :-( I did see her towards the end when bagpipes began playing Amazing Grace and then entire crowd of over 500,000 started singing with the bagpipes. I sat here watching it with tears streaming down my face. It was truly an amazing moment. I so wish I had been in DC today :-(

Here's another issue I'm passionate about and it's interesting that an atheist's point of view is one I agree with, isn't it? :-) We're all afraid of offending people of different religions and races but if something is wrong, it's WRONG. Build your mosque somewhere else... but it is disrespectful to build it within such close proximity to the grounds where too many innocent people lost their lives because of those teachings. And the fact that Obama isn't backing us up on it as the LEADER of this country is appalling. That is all. 

I hope I don't eat my words....

...but second semester seems like it may be a good one. I did hear the word 'simulation' though which sent anxiety shooting through my body as well as palpitations and just plain scary feelings. LOL But one day at a time.

My Psych professor is super sweet and nice, almost overly nice, but just makes you feel comfortable. I love it! We have our first clinical tomorrow morning from 8-1:30pm but it's just orientation to the mental health unit. Clinical is going to be much different these next 8 weeks compared to last semester, for sure. We have to wear business attire (which I'm already flipping out about... now I have to figure out what to wear!), flat shoes (you know, so when we're being chased by someone who has schizophrenia, we have good traction on our shoes... heh), no earrings (not even post earrings because if a patient hits your ear, it could puncture an artery... fab!), necklaces or ties so that the patients don't choke us. I am SUPER pumped. :-\ Anyway, no stethoscopes, writing utensils, books etc. Just a folder. So weird! I almost feel naked. 

Physical Assessment was ok as well except for the fact that during lecture about the class, the professor talked to us about "appropriate clothing" for the class which included sports bras, bathing suits or bathing suit tops, cami tanks and shorts or baggy sweat pants because we'll be assessing each other. *running to look up grapefruit diet so my partner doesn't want to shoot her eyes out after assessing me*. Ay! Not thrilled with that at all. There's little simulations after each class on whatever body system we've learned for that class that we must pass. That's a little scary but I actually think it might help me in the long run if we do it every week, I may get used to being watched and that might make the other simulations a little less anxiety-filled. At least, I hope! I am not thrilled though that this class is only at 5p-7:40p and that that was the only time we could sign up... that is RIGHT in the middle of dinner time and I take that seriously. :-P I just don't like being at school so late however, looking at the positive, since we have class Tuesday mornings until noon, staying there to eat lunch and then using the afternoon to practice may be beneficial. Tuesdays will just be school days, I guess from 8a-8p. Yay for 12 hour school days. :-( 

One day down, 105 to go! Oy!

Second Semester Nursing School Eve

Lately I haven't been sleeping well or haven't been able to fall asleep until ungodly hours of the morning. I lay in my bed in silence not being able to turn my brain off and it's really getting to be frustrating. My thoughts are consumed involuntarily with nursing school. I am trying to remember everything from last semester, which just is not an option, trying to think of better routines to help me manage my time (clearly, thinking about all of this at 1, 2 or 3am is really helping manage my time the next morning, when I don't get up until 10am... sheesh), what days I'm going to be able to run, read, practice skills. I lay here and feel my pulse race. I haven't the slightest idea why because I know I can do this... I even tell myself that... snap out of it! You have 2 more semesters left after this... one year! That is it! This year flew by.. this semester will fly by with all of the holidays coming up and so forth. Next semester is one I'm looking forward to the most with Pediatric and OB rotations. Calm down! 

If this keeps up, I'm thinking a visit to the doctor for anti-anxiety medication is in store and I hate that. :-(  I just want to turn my brain off and go to sleep!