Well, the wait didn't kill me.

The grade might though. I did not do well, like I expected, on my first exam. Not the best thing for someone who is already so unsure of herself in this program.It really makes me doubt myself even more. I emailed my professor and want to arrange a meeting with her to discuss my exam and what I did wrong... what I could maybe do better for the next one in a week. I am disappointed in myself. :( I also feel so alone because most of my friends in nursing school did pretty well... one got a few points away from an A and she was pissed. Argh. I understand that being so close to an A is frustrating but to be pissed? Come on. You passed and did well on your first nursing school exam. Some of us did not. I pray the next exam is better... I finished my 'My Philosophy of Nursing' paper and am going to post it on here. Most of what I'm posting is for my reference because I've always enjoyed going back to past posts and reading. It's certainly not perfect but I don't think it's half bad.

         Becoming a nurse was the profession that I always wanted to pursue.  Most of my passion to become a nurse was based on seeing nurses on television shows and the way that it always seemed like the nurse would swoop in after the doctor left, providing the patient a shoulder to cry on. They are the advocate, the counselor, the friend that couldn’t be there or the nurturing constant in the patient’s life.  I feel nursing is more than a medical profession, it’s a profession that gives me the chance to leave a heartprint on someone’s life. I believe nursing is more than treating a patient based on doctor’s orders. It is more than showing up to work and “getting through” an eight hour shift. It is being able to make a difference in someone’s life that may be in a vulnerable state and the nurse is their only source of comfort. Nursing provides care unique to its field in that a nurse heals not only physically but emotionally as well.

            I have always thought about becoming a nurse. For me, caring has always been a large part of my life. Most of my time was spent caring for children.  For one family, I became a constant in their children’s lives and they depended on me. I formed a relationship with them and they felt comfortable with me, allowing the entire family to trust me with their most precious cargo. Trust is an extremely important component while caring for someone else and is the foundation upon forming a relationship. It is very important to have similar values in nursing. Caring for a patient is just the same. They are central to the care that nurses offer and not one patient is the same; just like each of the children that I’ve watched don’t require the same care. I feel that caring for a patient should be individual and not compared to past experiences. It is with utmost importance that the patient feels comfortable with their nurse and that is my job, as their nurse, to be certain they trust me.

            When I was in fifth grade, my teacher paid me a compliment after seeing how I handled a situation with my peers. She said I was very empathetic, which was a word I had never heard before. I asked my teacher what it meant, to which she replied that it is one of the most challenging qualities a person can attain because while it’s quite easy to feel sorry for someone and have sympathy, empathy requires one to actually understand and share in a person’s emotions and feelings. I feel that empathy is most definitely something that should be included in a nurse’s care. While I will not always understand what a patient is going through, it’s pertinent that as a nurse, I make an effort to be aware of my patient’s emotions and why they’re feeling the way they are.  As a nurse, it’s also my job to find a way to make them feel better as best as I can. Benner and Wrubel’s theory really struck me, stating that caring is central to the patient. I feel that when a person knows they’re truly cared for and know someone is concerned for them; it gives the patient a sense of comfort. They know that they matter to someone and just knowing that can be enough to help a patient overcome fear or stress that may be attributed to an illness. As patient to nurse ratio becomes higher, it’s easy for nurses to do their medical job quickly with no specialized touch of caring. However, while reading ‘The Fundamentals of Nursing’, a specific sentence struck me, “If a certain aspect of care takes 15 minutes of contact, it will take the same time to deliver the care in an organized manner as it would in a rushed, harried manner” (Potter and Perry pp.6). Simple acts such as going into the room of a patient that is receiving chemotherapy treatments and holding their hand when no family is present to comfort them or shaking the hand of a new father and congratulating him are things not everyone thinks of as part of nursing care. To me, this is extremely important and a large reason as to why I’m becoming a nurse.

            I still remember the actual day I made the exact decision to become a nurse. I was in high school participating in the hospital observation program through Harper. I was observing in Labor and Delivery and shadowed Kathleen, a nurse, whom ironically I actually work with today. Watching the way she interacted with the new parents all throughout the delivery made me want to start the nursing program right then and there. She displayed all of the characteristics I believe a wonderful nurse should portray. She made them feel like they were the only 2 people on the floor that night and you could see how pleased they were to have someone that truly wanted to be involved in their exciting moment.

Nurses are involved in many exciting and scary times in a person’s life. Not all nurses provide the same care. Any nurse can enter a patient’s room, start an IV, give medication and change a Foley catheter. But not just anyone can do it to where they make that patient feel like they’re on the top of the nurse’s priority list and even the simplest request can make the patient feel like they matter. I feel this is the only acceptable type of nurse to become. Incorporating the person, their health, the environment they’re in and the nursing care is what truly matters in treating a patient. I want my patients to walk out of the hospital smiling, knowing that they received the very best care I am capable of giving. I have two choices when treating patients; get in and get out or go in and make a difference. And for me, making a difference and having a career where I can be a part of the lives of thousands of people in some of the best and worst times of their lives is the only choice me.