Higher Up's.

Why do bosses always seem like they have a stick up their butt? Do they want to be feared when they walk into a room? I'd be so disappointed and upset if every time I walked into the room, people's demeanor would go from relaxed to alert. I guess people feed off of the power they have at their fingertips. I'd want to be the kind of boss that people could come to for absolutely anything and they'd know I'd keep it confidential. They'd know they could talk to me about any issue and I'd fight for them and bring it up to whomever it needed it to be brought up to. I just don't understand the whole 'I'm better than you are' attitude. It's so stupid and I have a hard time kissing the ground they walk on. Instead, I ignore them unless they speak to me. I will not brown-nose thanks so much. Last time I checked, I too was a human being, not a peon and deserve the same respect as anyone else. @@

Another one of those moods...

where you're sick of doing things for other people, making sure everyone else is set and you forget all about yourself. No one else is going to remember you so that's probably a bad thing to do... forget about yourself, huh. I'm kind of over 'feeling sorry for myself' about this crap. The weird thing is though, there will be one part of me that says 'screw 'em' but then 5 minutes later, I get all weepy again. It's like my personality doesn't know what it wants. Ha. Welcome to my world. It's interesting though how things tend to work out for the best and how everything seems to come together eventually. There's a reason. Like why I'm still single. LOL I know I know, this again. But it's true... even though it would be really nice to be in a relationship with a nice guy, I just don't feel ready for that. I am so involved with myself (not in a selfish way, hopefully) but moreso with just my own life that I would be selfish to myself and to a boy if I were in a relationship. I have enough issues with friends, adding a boy and all of his emotions into it would probably not help. God really does have a plan. I have no idea what it is but He knows and that's all that matters. I just hope He has me getting married before I'm 50 (or 30 LOL). ;-)

Party.Over.

Woohoo! ;-) I have no idea what I'm going to do now without stressing over little things... Oh who am I kidding? I'll find other little things to stress about. I think it was a success.

I am so stressed out.

This party is so close. I haven't the slightest idea how it crept up as we've been planning this since August of 2008. It seemed so far away then... now we're less than 2 weeks. 8 days to be exact. But that's 8 days until the day of... that doesn't include the fact that I have to work this coming weekend... all weekend plus Tues and Wed of "party week", or the fact that I have a test in physiology this Thursday that I haven't studied for yet.

We have to pick up the projector on Wednesday the 25th from the police station and how we're going to do that without my dad seeing us is beyond me.

Friday we have to pick up the flowers and do our table centerpieces at my grandma's with the vases we picked out. Friday my parent's friends are coming in from FL so they'll need to be picked up from OHare.

"D Day", as we're calling it, starts at 8am. Yes, 8am. Out of the house 8am. We have to pick up the cake by 9am in a town 40 min away (smart!) and then swing by the florist to pick up the corsage's. We'll drop the cake off at my grandma's along with the flowers and pick up everything else to decorate the room at the hotel... we'll then go onto the hotel at around 11am to start decorating... putting the flower arrangements on the tables, setting up the projector, making sure the slideshow works and is loud enough. Set up the placecards, the table numbers, the banner, the cake table, the camera's on the table.

Then go back to grandma's to get ready. 3pm pick up the balloons. Go to the hotel and set those up, finishing touches, bring the cake, wait for the DJ so he can set up, finalize everything with the meal (time etc) and wait for the guests. This is nuts. It's getting so close.

This is obvious but if I didn't have this stupid test on Thursday and then work Fri, Sat, Sun, Tues and Wed, it wouldn't be half as bad. I just feel like I've been going nonstop since last week. I've barely been home. I am so glad my spring break is the week after this party. I only wish I were going somewhere. ;-)

I want to pull my hair out.

I have been working on a stupid seating chart for this anniversary party and want to bang my head against the wall. It has got to be easier than this! Every time I think I have it done perfectly, I realize something is wrong or I have too many people sitting at one table or one odd ball where I have no idea where to seat them. The easier thing to do would be to let people sit wherever but my sister is really set on this and I have to admit, it'll work out better I think. It'll be more structured and we have so many different kinds of people coming (family from both sides, friends, people my dad work with etc) that I really don't want anyone feeling left out if they don't know many people and don't know where to sit. That's just my prerogative though. So while I am doing the challenging task of assigning people to tables, it'll hopefully work out in the end and honestly, if people are unhappy or complain about their seat... there's a nice lobby outside our room where they can use their laps and eat their meal. Because really? You're getting a really nice dinner out of this where you have to pay NOTHING. So deal. Is it obvious I can't wait for this to be done? :-)

Prude and sheltered... but smart.

One of my friends recently told me that she admired me and the fact that I know what I want and won't stop or settle for anything less, until I get it. Hearing that really made me feel good because she is absolutely right... for most things. I do try to pick and choose my battles but there are some things I am just simply not backing down on and some things I simply just do not understand about people.

For one... getting drunk and doing drugs. What in the heck is so cool about either of those? It's not "impressive" and if you know, for example, that doing drugs is wrong... why in the heck do you do them? Perhaps my mind is just so simple that it's complex but I just do. not. understand. this. concept and quite frankly, it drives me NUTS other people do. I can definitely understand having a few drinks with friends so I am not, by any means, condoning that drinking is bad and that you should be shunned if you drink. I just don't understand the whole 'showy-ness' of it, does that make sense? I couldn't care less to see your pictures on Facebook of you so "shitfaced" for the 10th night in a row. Are you dumb?! Did you not recently read Facebook's Terms of Use? Sure, they've retracted some of it but ultimately, they own your information so now pictures of you "shitfaced" with your boob hanging out is now property of Facebook. Cute. Use your brains, people. Do you really think all 856 people you call your 'friends' are THAT interested in seeing your updated status about you 'getting so wasted last night'? I'm all about having fun but drinking 10 cases of beer and hugging the porcelain throne all night is sooo not my idea of fun. If it's yours, I guess I am not in any position to judge anyone as I am not God (and my idea of fun is sitting at home, watching a movie or lounging with a good book and some good food), but you must clearly reevaluate your definition of 'fun' or learn to grow up.

For two.. men. I am so fricken sick of men disrespecting women. Again, I am probably a prude when compared to the usual 22 year old (ok 'probably' is stretching it.. I KNOW I am. ;-) ) but do not whistle at me when I'm walking into a store. I am not a big piece of steak walking to your grill. I understand most men cannot help their animalistic nature but honestly, what kind of response do they think they're going to get? Like we're going to turn around, hop on their lap and go at it? Uhhhh.... NO. This just in.... not all girls are sluts looking for some action. Some girls actually go to the store to shop (shocking, I know...). Today while walking into class, 2 guys were outside smoking about an inch from the door outside, right smack dab under the 'NO SMOKING AREA' sign (ugh another huge pet peeve of mine I'm sure I'll elaborate on in another post). One pig says to the other, referring to a girl in their class "Oh man, she's probably wearing a tight shirt again... I can't wait to go to class because dude, you should see all the guys in the class when she walks in... It's like... daaamn'. I was so disgusted, I could have puked. I realize men say worse things than this but just the way he said it, it was just ick.

I may be picky about men but there is someone out there for me that is just as picky about women and we'll find each other one day... the day a man says to me 'I'd like to take you to dinner', I swear I'm going to call up 2 people immediately and squeal. I guess that's become my 'sign'. It sounds simple but it's not anymore... respect is gone and truly, that's all I'm looking for. I am not someone's property. I live here for God and no one else. I have no idea what He has in store for me but I trust Him. So yes, I am 22 years old and yes, I am single. And you know what? I'm ok with that. I'm ok with being picky because I DESERVE to be picky. I refuse to settle for 'just anyone' because I am not 'just anyone'. I'm someone who loves hard, cares so much it hurts and would give anything to anyone if I could. Sure, sometimes I get frustrated and wonder why that someone hasn't shown up yet but I put it back into perspective or I get a little peeved when someone asks 'So, you get a man yet?' (@@ Do people really hear themselves when they speak?). It's all a part of God's plan.... the 'I'd like to take you to dinner' plan and that's alright with me. :-)

A compliment.

One of the patient's at work needed a breathing treatment so a respiratory therapist came to our floor and was looking for the nurse for that patient. I had been at the nurse's station charting and had gotten up to do something and the respiratory therapist asked if I was the nurse for that patient. I said no but let me find the nurse who is. The RT asked 'Are you the charge nurse?' I said 'Oh gosh no, I'm not even a nurse!' and she laughed and said 'Well you really looked like you knew what you were doing!' LOL You know, I didn't think of it at the time but what a compliment! I laughed with her and said 'Thanks!'. And that was my good feeling of the day. ;-)

Another great night at work last night with great people. <3>

OH AND... an Iraqi couple said that our hospital is wonderful, the people there are wonderful and they are just floored at how great it is. It was wonderfully refreshing to hear that. :-)

P.S. One more month (from today) to go until my parent's anniversary party! Ahh!