My brother was officially confirmed tonight. We went to church and what a great service it was. We sang so many good songs, the poor people in front of me were probably praying I'd shut up. :) The service was nice, but my aunt and uncle and grandma were not fans... they had the Praise! Band there so it was more upbeat, they like the more 'traditional'. I don't care, as long as you're there for the right reasons. Then we went back to my grandma's and had lasagna and ice cream cake for dessert. I was never more happy to see dinner because as I sat in the pew at church listening to a song, I remembered I had only eaten a few chips with guacamole and some sushi earlier that day. I was joking about wanting an IV for the 5k but it may not be a bad idea....
I actually cried today during running. Had I not been out in public or had I had sunglasses on, I probably would have just let it out into a full on sob. I am gosh darn frustrated. I walked basically the last 2 miles. I still finished in 40 minutes, which was worse that yesterday, but I guess for walking it's not awful. I am just so incredibly angry with myself. WHY is this so damn difficult 11 weeks into it? I should be working on improving my pace, not running 3 miles. I did better W5D3 on the 20 minute run than I am doing now. I almost just gave up and walked home but I continued to do my route and ran when I could. The last stretch of my route, I just hightailed it to the end of the block and made it in just under 40 minutes. Then I thought I was going to pass out and I think a lady in a car thought so too because she started to slow down but saw I was ok and kept going. Ever since I began running, I've noticed that my blood pressure has increased. I am beginning to think I have exercise-induced hypertension. There's so little about it on the computer to look up information so when I go to the doctor to get my physical for nursing sometime soon, hopefully, I'll mention it to the doctor. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. What the hell am I going to do if I have EIH? Just sit on my fat ass all day and use that as an excuse to not exercise? That's just great.
2 comments:
Amanda, I mean this with lots of love.. you are being way way too hard on yourself and you are taking the fun out of running. Just enjoy running even if it is running and walking, even if you are slow, even if you have to crawl... enjoy it! You are out there and doing it where as most people are not.
You should realize how well you are doing. Seriously! I am super thrilled at my run toady.. I only walked a tiny little bit and have a new personal best at 40.03. Wooo Hooo. So if you are doing that or a better time then look for the positive and celebrate it instead of being so upset with the time.
You are faster than me with a ton of walking so you are trucking it when you run.
Seriously, find the fun again and dont worry about the rest.
Thanks Corey :)
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